55: Eid and Gor

Okay, the pictures are supposed to be shown chronologically, but now they're all terbalik. The latest one is shown first pulak. But it's okay.

The desserts in our simple makan-makan sempena aidiladha. Main menu is nasi tomato + ayam masak merah + kambing masak kurma. Pictures of them aren't available.

A very cute lil girl masa solat raya di Debney's park. Sangat ramai budak-budak and babies yang comel-comel. Rasa macam nak culik sorang dua.

The crowds at Debney's park. Yup, the same venue masa raya aidil fitri juga. Best solat kat padang. Takbir dilaungkan tanpa was-was. Khutbah amat bersemangat. Walaupun the first part in arabic and I could barely understand, tapi terserap juga semangat bila dibacakan. Pasal surah al-kauthar. Dah banyak kenikmatan yang Allah bagi.. maka berkorbanlah!

Erskine Fall. At Lorne, along the Great Ocean Road. We went there a day before eid.

Alhamdulillah. Dapat ke sini lagi. My favorite place along the Great Ocean Road.
The Loch Ard Gorge. I can spend hours here. Seriously I can. Just sit there and stare at the beautiful scenery and listen to the harmonious sounds of nature.

The sand. Do you know, there are more galaxies in the universe than the sand on this earth all together?? Sangat banyak ok! And in one galaxy, there are approx. more than 500 millions of stars. And our sun is only one of those stars! We are so small, yet we can be real takabbur. Sungguh tidak sedar diri.

I'm here again. The 12 apostles. Never fail to ease the heart. Alhamdulillah.

Watching the sunrise..

Lately I become so kememeh. Need to be tougher. Kenapa jadi makin lemah pulak?

54: Change

Change. Berubah.
It's so possible that you have to agree.

Sometimes we tend to think like..
"Oh, this is me"
"Oh, I know I cannot be like this, but there's this one part in me that I can never change"
"I'm born like this"
"This is the way I was brought up!"

All the thoughts that keep us from THE CHANGE that we really want.
Sometimes we tend to think that idealism is something so ideal that can never be attained.

I tend to think like that, once upon a time.

I was brought up in a secure environment. I went to Islamic School since standard 3, until form 5. I was taught all the nilai-nilai murni dan islami since small. Some stick to me, become part of me, some hanya berlalu seperti angin sepoi-sepoi bahasa.

Akhlak. Yang rasa senang, amat mudah nak diamalkan, akan diamalkan hence menjadi akhlak. Yang macam susah, tak biasa, ditinggalkan, dan hanya menambah panjang list akhlak-akhlak yang I HOPED I could acquire.

Sabar, tahan marah, rajin, berlapang dada, etc2.. the list can be as long as you want. People always hope. Fitrahnya manusia mahukan akhlak-akhlak demikian dalam diri.

Honestly, what I personally felt is "I know, I have to be better. I want to be better. But I know myself more than anyone else, and there's this part in me that I KNOW I CAN NEVER CHANGE".

And there was also time when I became so frustrated with myself. "Why am I like this? Why am I DESTINED to be like this? Why oh why can't I change?"

But as I learnt more and more about Islam, Alhamdulillah, I came to this realization and reality that I can change.

Islam, selain menyempurnakan syariat dengan segala kesyumulannya, juga adalah untuk menyempurnakan akhlak yang mulia.

"Sesungguhnya aku diutus untuk menyempurnakan akhlak yang mulia" (HR Bukhari)

(Al-Ahzab 33:21)

Rasulullah dan para sahabat adalah manusia biasa seperti kita juga. Jahiliyah-jahiliyah yang mereka hadapi dan hidup dengannya adalah lebih teruk dari apa yang perlu kita buangkan dari dalam diri. Namun mereka berjaya berubah, dan menjadi generasi paling hebat pernah kita tahu, dengan akhlak yang sangat mantap. If they can do it, why can't we?

Pada Rasulullah ada contoh yang boleh sangat-sangat kita ikut. BAGI MEREKA YANG AMAT MEGHARAPKAN KEREDHAAN ALLAH. Only this matters and only this will keep us strong in our process of changing. Niat. Niat kita hanya kerana Allah dan kefahaman kita bahawa one day kita PASTI menghadap Allah kembali...

Mujahadah itu kunci. Struggle against all the evil and all the cubaan dan halangan that hinder us from istiqamah in our mujahadah untuk berubah.

Susah, memang susah. So hard. That's why it's so worth it. Syurga. That's why it's so worth it! Syurga sangat mahal ok. And it can be either syurga dan neraka~

Dan bila bermujahadah, dan berjaya berubah, barulah akan merasa manisnya.. sangat manis :)

It's a continuous struggle. And most often than not we will feel tired and weak. But imaan is the key. Our faith in Allah. Tiada daya dan tiada upaya, tiada kekuatan selain dari-Nya. This keep us strong. REAL STRONG.

Change, is possible.

And if you can sense that I'm changing (to the better of course), Alhamdulillah.
If you can sense that I'm not changing, keep on reminding the forgetful me~

53: Summer in Melbourne

Salam all. Wah, sudah lama tidak ku update ruangan ini. Exam ended around 2 weeks ago. I've been avoiding thinking about it. Personally, the last paper was the hardest paper ever for me. I didn't understand the concept so well, ended up memorising all the solution.. and went blank in the exam hall. NOT GOOD.

Anyway, I'm going to spend half of my summer holiday here in Melbourne. Interesting? So far so good. I'm not feeling so well right now, so I'll let the pictures do most of the talking. Summer in Melbourne.

Taken while studying for my second paper in the library. Listened to imeem using library laptop. Study tak menjadi sangat.

Hujan batu berlaku in the middle of exam period. Jakun sket. Ni atas bumbung dapur, taken from my bedroom window.

The kittens. 4 of them. From left: Husky Dusky, Lollipop, Cloud and Sky.

Husky, comel saat tidur sahaja.

My lovely sky. Tidur dalam posisi yang pelik.

Makcik baik on the bus in Greensborough.

Melbourne Central Station, platform 1. To Hurstbridge/Epping.

Junction, Pelham St/Elizabeth St.

Masjid Beddoe of Monash Uni, Clayton.

College Square. I used to live here.

The tram stop nearest to my house. Stop here for Pelham St, okay!

Langit yang cantik, di picnic area park ape ye.. in Epping.

Lake and sky. Same venue as above.

The road taken..

I took a similar photo years back:

In 2005.

Rougher terrain ahead :)
Perlu lebih kuat kerana hidup makin sukar. So true.
Moga lebih matang yo!
Dan lebih serius!

"Umat yang berjuang tidak mengenal selain bersungguh-sungguh"
who can guess who said the above quote?

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.
Looking forward to explore more of Melbourne. Around 1 year left. I love Melbourne, really. Am gonna miss it.

52: Futile attempt

This is Chesty who was frustrated at her futile attempts to get into my room. Sorry Chesty, I'm still feeling uncomfortable with adult cats in the room ... kittens ok lagi.

And this is me.. frustrated at her futile attempts to study without losing focus.

My first paper in 2 days time. Oh, everyone else is either finishing their exam or happily smiling,contented, back in Malaysia..

Oh Allah, never let me go.

51: Hasbiyallah

Selalu..


Aku mahu jadi si kecil yang semua org mendengar tangisannya.

Aku mahu jadi si lemah yang semua orang mahu menyokongnya.

Aku mahu jadi si pengadu yang semua orang mahu mendengarkannya.

Aku mahu jadi si pengecut yang semua orang mententeramkannya.

Aku mahu jadi si kememeh, yang semua tak kisah menyeka air matanya...


Tapi .... lebih lagi sebenarnya.. sepatutnya.. hakikatnya...


Aku mahu jadi dia yang sentiasa sedar yang dia punya Tuhan yang maha segalanya.

Aku mahu jadi dia yang tak perlu sesiapa, hanya Dia.

Aku mahu jadi dia yang tak pernah kalah dengan pujuk rayu hatinya.

Aku mahu jadi dia yang kuat kerana Allah benar-benar Ilahnya...


Hasbiyallah.. Hasbiyallah.. Hasbiyallah.. Wani’mal wakeel.

La ilaha illa anta, subhanaka.. inni kuntu minazholimin...

(Benarlah.. sangat benarlah.. sesungguhnya dengan mengingati Allah itu hati akan menjadi tenang.. Alhamdulillah)

50: Choices

Dan janganlah kamu berhati lemah dalam mengejar mereka (musuhmu). Jika kamu menderita kesakitan, maka ketahuilah mereka pun menderita kesakitan (pula), sebagaimana kamu rasakan, sedang kamu masih dapat mengharapkan dari Allah apa yang tidak dapat mereka harapkan. Allah Maha Mengetahui, Maha Bijaksana.

-

And slacken not in following up the enemy: if ye are suffering hardships, They are suffering similar hardships; but ye have hope from Allah, while they have none. and Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom.

-An-Nisa 4:104-

---

Apa ya beza kita dan mereka?

Stress exam, tak faham subject material, banyak tak cover lagi, scholarship tak masuk-masuk, duit tak cukup, orang menyakitkan hati disekeliling, family problems, sakit fizikal, sakit mental, etc2

Semua orang boleh punya masalah serupa. Semua boleh ada masalah yang sama dengan kita. Regardless of their belief. Regardless of their faith.

Yang beza adalah, kita ada Allah.. to whom we can always rely on.

Bezanya, ialah how you deal with each problem. You can choose to feel however you want. Choose to be happy, choose to be calm, for you have Allah. Al-Waliy. The Guardian.

Apa beza kita dan mereka jika cara kita deal dengan masalah pun sama macam cara mereka? keep on whining and cursing, giving up, hurting ourselves.. making things worse.. complicate the already chaotic situation.

I choose to be calm. Al-Hilmy.

I'm a human that always forget. Sometimes I forget that I have choices. Sometimes I forget that I'm in control.

Dear friends, keep on reminding me.

Oh Allah, Al-Waliy.. You're my ultimate guardian. Forgive me when I whine. Remind me when I forget. Kau yang memegang hatiku ini. Teguhkan aku.

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal :)

--

Tetibe rasa tak reti dah nak tulis.. handicapped. Uhuhu.

Inna lillah wa inna ilahi raji'un ..

--

A related nasyid yang amat sedap dan bermakna!

Zain Bikha - Heart of A Muslim

Looking up at the sky, searching for Allah most High
He rejected the way of worshipping Gods of clay
Prophet Ebrahim knew that Allah was near
And that the heart of a Muslim is sincere

Under the hot burning sun, he declared God is one
Though with stones on his chest, his Imaan would not rest
The Muadhin knew that right would conquer wrong
And the heart of a Muslim must be strong

It's the heart of a Muslim through the guidance of Islam
That makes you fair and kind and helpful to your fellow man
So living as a Muslim means that you must play a part
Allah looks not at how you look, but what is in your heart

In our poor meager state, little food on our plate
Mother said she was glad, always sharing what we had
When I asked how can we share what's not enough
She said the heart of a Muslim's filled with love

He said its time you should know, you will learn as you grow
That some people around will do what's bad to bring you down
Father said to be a star that's shining bright
For the heart of a Muslim does what's right

So whatever you do, make sure your words are true
Honesty is the best, because life is a test
Even if it hurts so much you want to cry
For the heart of a Muslim does not lie

49: Important Dates

Final Exam for Semester 2, 2008

19th Nov - Mathematical Methods
21st Nov - Further Classical & Quantum Mechanics
24th Nov - Electromagnetism & Special Relativity

Dengan kekuatan Tuhan, akan membantumu!

31st Dec - Balik Malaysia :)

p/s: Selamat bertunang to my dear brother, Suhaib. Today at Teluk Intan. Wish I were there.