I know there are my people somewhere out there… those who make me feel at ‘home’.
I’ve been feeling out of place. I want to feel belong but I can’t mix with the people around me without feeling fake. I tried hard to look interested. I tried hard to emphatize, symphatize, but in the end all I felt was worn down. I am tired.
I started to feel maybe there was something wrong with me. Am I socially awkward? am I lacking somewhere in the mind? am I weird? it started to bother me to the extend i thought maybe I am on the spectrum??
I talked with chatgpt, haha. It was kinda pathetic because I just couldnt find anyone to talk to about this. But it was helpful. It makes me realize that I am not like what I thought previously. I am not weird. I just havent found my people.
Because I realized, i never felt like this during my study years. My people were there.
Then life happened to ALL of us. It changes each and everyone of us. We went separate ways. I’d like to think that all my people are missing me, too.
Those who said I had them at hello. I was flattered. I feel happy to know someone is genuinely interested in whatever I have to say.
In the mean time, I will continue to write here.
A space of no audience, and no judgement. Just a space for me to rant, my fragmented thoughts.
