Thursday, January 12, 2023

268: Finding joy, again

This morning as I was scrolling the Facebook feeds, I came across this post saying how funny the opening chapter of Pinocchio was. It went like shown in the picture:

I was instantly interested to read the rest of the story. I never came across the physical book of Pinocchio before, only watched the movies. Then, it dawned on me how this is what missing from my adult life now. The joy of reading. Reading books, as a pleasure. Or specifically fiction. Not so much of gaining knowledge, or life lessons. But the feeling of being intrigued, in malay like 'perasaan dibuai-buai' like that ... If you are a reader yourself, you know what I meant. When the author wrote something so beautifully, when they succeed to depict feelings into words so perfectly.. like you feel, yes she killed it! 

I used to read lots of books during my high school year, and undergraduate years. But stopped once I got married and have kids. I still buy books now and then but many left untouched , unfinished because most of the time I felt there were just more things to prioritize over. Reading has become such a chore. No joy in it anymore. 

One voice in my head will tell me that reading for pleasure is nafs. Like time here in on earth is so limited, so much to achieve, being carried away by fictional stories are such a waste of time. (Reading non fiction, books for the knowledge, is another topic altogether). But, another voice will say.. this is what makes life beautiful. We need to live, but happily. We need to find again, the pretty things in life. The joy, that brings so much reasons to keep on living despite the struggles. 

Our mission on earth is one definite thing. To obey Allah, to preach others obeying Allah, too. If Allah wants, He can, to just give us such basic things like one type of food only for our sustanence. That will suffice for us to reach our goal in life... but no, He made infinite amount of varieties! and each was so perfectly created, colourful and pretty! He made everything, arts. So I believe, it's okay to indulge ourselves in arts, as long as we still in the path towards Him. In fact, we will feel so much happier, so much in love, knowing Him as the Greatest Artist. 

Sunday, January 8, 2023

267: Hijrah

Tahun baru 2023, adalah tahun hijrah bagiku. Aku beranikan diri, membuat keputusan untuk keluar dari zon yang teramat selesa. People would think I'm stupid for making this decision. Leaving all the best things in life... for a new beginning at a new place.

But living, is a struggle, jihad, to be the best version of ourselves, before we meet HIM in the best state. I had been praying for Him to show me, if this hijrah is the best thing for me, then make the path to it, easy. And easy it was .. I was kinda shocked He allows this to happen this fast.


I need to be brave to move. To change. To learn and unlearn. 
Semoga Allah redha <3