Friday, December 25, 2009

147: Aya

Masa: Siang tadi
Venue: Dalam kereta Iman

Cik In yang sedang drive: Eh, tak call lagi rumah nak tanya adik macammana. Hari ni result PMR keluar.

Saya: Oh ha'ah ek!! Saya tak ingat pulak. Kene kol umah jugak ni. (Terus capai henpon dan mencari 'Mama' lalu menekan button call).

Mama: Assalamualaikum.

Saya: Waalaikumussalam. Mama, ni munah ni!

Mama: Ooo.. ape khabar kamu?

Saya: Baik Alhamdulillah. Hehe. Mama mama, kat mana? result PMR keluar hari ni, result aya camne?

Mama: Ha? Aliya? awak ni dah kenape? sape adik awak yang ambil PMR? Aya amek PMR taun lepas la.

Saya: Ha? (kemudian disusuli dengan gelak yang agak tidak sopan dek ketidaktahanan atas keabsentmindedan diri)


Rupenye saya sangat lupa yang Aya dah form 4. Korek2 balik otak, baru igt yang Aya dpt 9A;s last year. Nak masuk form 5 dah.

I don't know macammana ntah boleh terlupa........

Maaf Aya.. haha.


Kawan kata, dimaafkan lah sebab ade 11 adek-badek. :)

Monday, December 21, 2009


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise..

-excerpt from 'IF' by Rudyard Kipling

I failed. I know myself now. How it's easy for me to lose my temper. Hoho, kesian pakcik tu, kene marah dengan saya. When I said pakcik, I really mean pakcik. I think he's older than my dad. I feel so guilty now, for losing my temper, not because it's my fault.

Istighfar banyak-banyak.


Saturday, December 19, 2009


This morning I sent off my roommate of 3 years, at the airport. I'm never good at good-byes. I'm never good in reacting. Kak Wani asked me, "How does it feel? Are you sad?" Hmm, I don't know, really. I am not sure. Separation with the one we love will always cause some kind of heart ache, at least, right? Yes, I am sad, but I am happy. This is kind of like a happy ending to our journey together. It's inevitable, and we are moving on, happily, 'redha'ly (:p). She'll lead a new exciting life, and I'm going to lead mine. Though I'm still in the state of uncertain now, I am so thankful by the fact that I am spared by Allah from other kind of worries.

To Mardhiyyah, it's been a great 3 years. It's a wonder how we can stand each other for these period of time. Your salamatussadr, and ithar.. I thank Allah for you.

"And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided. And remember the favor of Allah upon you - when you were enemies and He brought your hearts together and you became, by His favor, brothers. And you were on the edge of a pit of the Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus does Allah make clear to you His verses that you may be guided."

People started calling me 'Muna' instead of 'Mai' because of Mar. Hey, now that I think about it, why did it has to be me changing instead of you? :p

I remember among the first moments when people asked how did we know each other, how did we end up being housemates (for an apartment for 2), we said "Oh, IDP yang arranged" then a sister said "Eh, it's Allah's arrangement". At that time I was like "Hek eleh, yela.. mmg la everything Allah yang arrange.. tp melalui IDP la" But now I can really appreciate the fact that Allah arranged this.

Oklah, dah. Haha. My english still doesn't improve much after 3 years of living here.

Saturday, December 12, 2009


Assalamualaikum wbt

Subhanallah. Alhamdulillah.

Semalam ke uni, uruskan beberapa urusan. Ambil academic transcript sebab kena post ke Monash and RMIT. Excited sangat bila dapat transcript tu.. sebab bawah tu tulis:

Macam tak percaya. All those sleepless nights, countless mug of coffees, anxiousness, agitation, kebersepahan bilik with notes, paper n ketidakurusan hidup (this, Mar had to withstand, thank you Mar atas kesabaranmu.. next year we are no longer roommate huhu, you're gonna miss me.. ni kene buat post lain nih!).. the only thing I didn't do is cry in frustration or distress. Haha. Tak percaya it has concluded to this day. Inna ma'al usri yusra.. but the verse doesn't end there, does it? ;)


Sangat-sangat terkejut semalam bila dapat berita tentang Kak Teh. You can read the news here. Sungguh kita tak boleh, can never predict, whatever that's going to happen. Sungguh Allah memilih hambaNya yang Dia sayang utk ujian seberat ini..

I'm reflecting... the last week was very stressful for me since I was in a state of uncertain. Sangat takut tak pass, I thought of the worst, and all the what-ifs. Selalu juga cakap kat diri "So what if you didn't pass? what's the worst that can happen? bukannya its the end of the world.. extend je la, bukan the main reason you wanted to do honours sebab you nak stay longer ke here?"

Tapi hati tetap tak alleviated. Nak pass, nak pass. Then it struck me. Sungguh egonya diri. Kenapa tak nak tak pass? Sebab takut orang kata. Sebab ego, sebelum ni okay je, tak pernah fail. Bajet bagus sangat, padahal segalanya Allah yang tetapkan. You are nothing without Him.

Ujian sekecil ini tapi hati dah stress menggila. Orang lain ujian lebih berat kot, Mai! Fail tu, ujian yang tak semua orang dapat. Korang memang kuat...

Tetibe stuck tak tahu nak tulis apa. Huu..

Anyway, yang penting, yang seharusnya, tak kira kecil atau besar satu-satu ujian itu, kita kembali kepada Allah yang menetapkan ujian. Kita dapat extract the hikmah sebaliknya. Dapat react with the right reaction... mendapat redhaNya.. mendapat pengajaran for the future... and never commit the same mistake twice...


Allahumma afrigh alaina sobran wathabbit aqdamana..

Thursday, December 10, 2009

143: Oh, its 143, I Love You.

All praise is due to Allah. Ar-Razzaq. Al-Fattah. Al-Hakeem. Al-Waduud.

Surreal it is. Now I am not sure of what to write. It's easier to just put photos, then I can leave the flow of the story to audience's guesses. I felt reluctant to write before, since there wasn't much to write anyway, except the fact that I was so worried. Result result result.

Is this the end of this chapter called "My Melbourne Story" ? Only He knows. I am still hoping for acceptance into Honours year. Whatever is best, oh Allah.

So, no, I'm not going back to Malaysia yet, not this month. I'm gonna have to... wait.

3 years, and here I am.

I'm graduating with Bachelor of Science, majoring in Physics, from the University of Melbourne.

All praise is due to Allah.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Thursday, November 26, 2009

141: Oh


I'm done.

Oh, I want to graduate. Takut.

Semoga Allah passkan everything, or better yet, excel so that confirming Honours.

And now the after effect, headache.

Jumpa lagi!

Salam Aidiladha!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

140: Seratus empat puluh dah!

What I need..

What I shouldn't be doing but I did...

What I need to do...

Monday, November 16, 2009

139: Okayh

Alhamdulillah. Electrodynamics paper done.

Lega. But at the same time I feel a bit indefferent. Do'a u guys mungkin? Alhamdulillah tak rasa excessively panic and worried although my answers tak lah sesempurna yang diharapkan. But I feel.. tenang. Yerp, that's the word. Tenang. Mencari-mencari perkataan to describe my feeling dari tadi. Baru terkeluar. Tawakal. Serah pada Allah. Usaha-usaha sebelum ni tak mungkin diubah. Nak risau camna pun tak guna.

Tapi, I still got the exam after effect -> major headache. Semoga Allah ampuni segala dosa. Banyak sangat dosa.. but yet nak Allah bagi kita a smooth sailing life? sungguh tak malu. Tadi dengar tazkirah tentang taubat. Syarat-syarat taubat diterima, one of them is IKHLAS. Sejauh mana aku ikhlas bertaubat. Refleksi diri sebenarnya. Sebab musim exam ni somehow mungkin hati tak ikhlas bertaubat. We know we committed sins. And we repent for the sake of He forgiving us, then give us ease and rezeki. Bukan sebenar-benar taubat in the sense that we really really feel sinful about it.. if you get what I mean. Tak reti nak phrase ayat lor. Boleh sama-sama investigate hati masing-masing. Bukan menuding jari ke sesiapa. Tetapi mengorek-ngorek rahsia hati sendiri.

Cewah. But, betul. Heh.

Petang tadi dah tidur jap. So headache dah berkurang. But the remnant is still there. Teringat Meissner effect of type II superconductor. Dia ada 2 critical temperature. Below the first one, all magnetic field is expelled completely, but above it, but still below the second critical temperature, the magnetic field starts to diffuse into the superconductor.

Okay, I digress. Terbawak-bawak sebab sibuk menghafal point-point for essay-like question which I'm very weak at. Budak physics tak reti nak explain things. They just know how to derive. Give us problem, we'll give you the answer.

Cewah again. But, betul.

Okay, next battle: Sub-Atomic Physics, 23rd Nov.

Tak cover langsung this subject since sangat focus on Electrodynamics (the core subject, the toughest, relatively) sampai boring dok ngadap notes Electrodynamics walaupun banyak lagi tak 'fasih'...

Semoga Allah kurniakan keberkatan masa.
Semoga Allah permudahkan.
Semoga Allah iringi setiap perbuatan perkataan everything yg berkaitan dgn kita .. dengan hidayahNya yang tak putus-putus.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009


Mendengar lectures yg overdue. So last minute la me.. Eh, I attended most (of not all) lectures ye, cumanya it was hard to concentrate the first time around. Sikit lagi nak habiskan till lecture 30.

Nothing much to write about when we're in the exam period (tak patut update blog pun in the first place, Mai!), study study study je la kot. He knows best what I've been doing. Huhu. Of course it's hard to focus 100% of the time. But I'm trying. Need to excel this final! Need to prove that I'm worth the honours year. Hah. Take that for a motivation, Mai!

Kepada mak, abah, adik-beradik, ipar-duai, kawan-kawan, auntie-auntie, pakcik-pakcik, let's pray for each other's success.

Saje, je update. Boring blog takde gambo baru.

Saturday, November 7, 2009


Kerana (eh, salah ke tatabahasa start ayat dengan perkataan kerana?) saya amat susah fokus, diri ini mencari alasan buat sesuatu supaya boleh naik semangat belajo sikit. So petang tadi byk masa membaca artikel-artikel. Yang of course tidak berkaitan dengan physics secara directnye (sebab of course, everything pun ada kaitan dengan physics sebab physics is a fundamental science.. ha bangkang la bangkang..). Konklusi dari cubaan saya untuk belajar di rumah hari ini ialah: saya tidak boleh belajar di rumah. Esok perlu mewajibkan diri ke library.

Terbaca satu news dari utusan malaysia. (cari sendiri la) Yang menyentuh kesesatan 'satu ajaran'. Buat diri saya ketawa tidak tertahan. Mudah saja ya manusia melabelkan orang lain sesat. Uih, tak takut dosa ke? Nak kata tak belajar, siap grad over the red sea gitu. Terasa juga sebab dalam artikel tu ada menyentuh apa yang selama ni diri ini di ajar juga i.e. tauhid rububiyah, uluhiyah dan asma wa sifat. Cuba la cakap apa awk akan rasa bila orang kata apa yg awak belajar sedari tingkatan satu tu sesat?? Ewah, sedap2 aje. Buku pengertian tauhid tu Yusuf Qardhawi yg tulis kot. Orang ni kate belajar di Mesir, tak pernah terbaca ke buku Yusuf Qardhawi?

Ok, kemungkinan juga surat khabar tu memutar belitkan apa yang orang tu kata. I have to be careful too. Nak mengata orang pula. Sendiri juga dapat dosa tak berhati2 bila awal2 kata kat orang "tak takut dosa ke??". Sokkabo zaman skrg ni susah betul nak percaya. They can't even put the simplest fact right e.g. name, apetah lagi satu artikel yang penuh dgn fakta.. they're bound to be full with debatable facts and elaborations.

Anyway.. berkaitan bende2 gini.. menuduh orang/kumpulan tertentu macam2.. teringat sorang ni kata when someone asked him about one particular persatuan "susah nak kata.. you need to be inside it then you'll understand.. whatever people r saying about them are bound to be inaccurate..."

Teringat juga satu perenggan di artikel ustaz yang terkenal..

Jika ilmu mengajar manusia menjadi alim (berilmu), pengalaman membentuk manusia menjadi hakim (bijaksana).


Okeh. Ilmu dan Hikmah.

Apa kene mengena? ada lah kena mengena.

Okey. Sedikit cetusan yang tidak berbibliography dan references.

Sekian terima kasih.

Friday, November 6, 2009

135: Whatever it takes

Bacalah sampai faham. Sampai masuk ke hati.

67: 22

Thursday, November 5, 2009

134: Kot kot

Huh. Hari yang sungguh tidak produktif. Berusaha, tapi tak dapat jawapan. Stuck lama at one question. Pass dulu. Stuck lagi. Stuck lagi. Stuck lagi. Ended up banyak breaks. Ended up asik dok menekan reload inbox gmail, all items kat reader and live feeds kat fb. Takde keje. Rasa sangat membazir nye sehari dok uni. Takde hasil. Geram kat diri. Tak baca doa kot?? Hati tak bersih kot?? Niat lari kot?? Asik makan kot?? Asik berangan kot?? Asik google 'solutions' je kot?? nak cari jalan mudah je kot?? Berusaha kot??!!

Another week to go. Jangan menyesal, Mai.

Allahumma yasirli wala tuassir..

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

133: Fitnah

Macammana orang boleh senang-senang aje mengatakan sesuatu? Akhir-akhir ini sangat banyak isu timbul berkaitan ini. Sangkaan-sangkaan dijadikan hujah. Sangkaan-sangkaan menjadi fitnah.

Hey, tak berimankah? tak takutkah? Sesungguhnya lidah itu akan disoal.

Kadang-kadang rasa macam tak masuk akal wujud jugak certain people yang sungguh 'lay back' dalam mengfitnah orang.

Orang berkelulusan bidang keagamaa, orang yang berilmu, bijak pandai, orang yang berpengaruh, sometimes I think, hey tak logiknya! mana common sense nye nih?

Hadith 29 of Imam Nawawi's 40 Hadiths:

"O Messenger of Allah, tell me of a deed which will take me into Paradise and will keep me away from the Hell-fire." He said: "You have asked me about a great matter, yet it is, indeed, an easy matter for him to whom Allah Almighty makes it easy. (It is ) that you worship Allah without associating anything with Him, that you perform the prayers, that you pay the zakat, that you fast during Ramadan, and that you make the pilgrimage to the House."

Then he said: "Shall I not guide you to the gates of goodness? Fasting is a shield; charity extinguishes sin as water extinguishes fire; and a man's prayer in the middle of the night." Then he recited: "Who forsake their beds to cry unto their Lord in fear and hope, and spend of that We have bestowed on them. No soul knoweth what is kept hid for them of joy, as a reward for what they used to do". [Qu'ran, Surah al-Sajdah (32): Ayah 16-17]

Then he said: "Shall I not also tell you of the peak of the matter, its pillar, and its topmost part?" I said: "Yes, O Messenger of Allah." He said: "The peak of the matter is Islam (submission to Allah), the pillar is prayer; and its topmost part is jihad." Then he said: "And shall I not tell you of the controlling of all that ?" I said:" Yes, O Messenger of Allah". So he took hold of his tongue and said: "Restrain this." I said: "O Prophet of Allah, will we be held accountable for what we say?" He said: "May your mother be bereft of you! Is there anything that topples people on their faces (or he said, on their noses) into the Hell-fire other than the jests of their tongues?"

Monday, November 2, 2009

132: Entry before ni patutnya 131

Alhamdulillah, I successfully submitted the last submission for my third year. Kelegaan. Al-Insyirah. Start esok (erk, nape bukan hari ni?) akan dapat fokus and pulun. The heat is on.

Also, I just submitted the University of Melbourne's honours application. Now I leave it to Allah. Yang terbaik, Ya Allah. Yang terbaik...

Need to settle a few things before I can submit RMIT's application. Monash ni, huhu, napa supervisors semua tidak membalas emailku? Ada sorang tu kata dia tak available until today (kene remind him and do another appoinment), ada sorang tu balas awal, then minta transcript. Haha. After I sent it in, terus diam.. huhu, baiklah. Daku faham transcriptku sungguh tidak lawa dan tidak mencapai standard kemasukan ke honours year. Tapi at least I tried. Takpela, diri ini pun kalau boleh honours di RMIT atau Melbourne Uni aje. Dekat sikit. Tak usah pindah-pindah etc. (Macam dpt je.. huhu, abah kata berangan tu doa)

Lama tak call umah. Mama, abah, munah nak balik T_T...


Politik Malaysia never fails to make us all nauseous eh.
Sunatullah kan.. yang mahukan kebenaran, yang cintakan kedamaian, pasti ramai lagi yang menentangnya, yang membencinya.. Perjuangan itu.. mensucikan.
Doaku.. doa kita.. harus terus.

Kegelapan ini pasti akan hancur, dan alam ini akan disinari fajar lagi..

Sunday, November 1, 2009

130: Humidity

Malam tadi hujan agak lebat (untuk standard Melbourne. kalau standard mesia hujan renyai-renyai kot). Sebelum hujan, kilat berkali-kali. Strange, aku rasa. Jarang sungguh Melbourne bercuaca begini. Hoho. Hari kebelakangan ni agak panas. Dan sangat humid because of the rain. Hari tu selepas a day spent at the library, keluar je, spontaneously kawan cakap "Eh, rasa macam kat Malaysia!". The way you instantly feel the kelembapan when you are outside. Bunyi hujan dan suhu malam tadi benar-benar buat hati merindui tanah airku Malaysia. Poyo tak? Terima kasih.

Dulu tak faham sangat bila belajar dalam Geography, climate di Malaysia ialah 'panas dan lembap sepanjang tahun' .. faham part panas tu, tapi tak faham lembap. Sebab tak pernah rasa 'lembap' pun unless masa hujan. Pastu datang sini, spent a year.. then balik Malaysia end of first year tu, keluar je dari airplane, badan terus melekit. You can really feel the humidity of the air~ Barulah daku faham apa yang dimaksudkan humid tu. Seriously can feel the different. Kalau orang lagi tak biasa, akan rasa sesak nafas sebab udara agak humid. Macam heavy gitu jika dibandingkan dengan udara melbourne yang agak dry.

Oh, I'm gonna miss Melbourne, alright. Tapi dah namanya orang Malaysia, sepandai-pandai tupai melompat, akhirnya jatuh ke tanah juga. Macam tak betul je peribahasa. Apa ye peribahasa yang ada 'pulang ke akar'?? something like that. Tak ingat la.

Cetusan minda di pagi hari.

Oh Alhamdulillah masih diberi nyawa hari ini. Yosh2! semangat. Hari ni kene siapkan lab report. One last thing to submit on Monday before I accelerate to study lecture materials and past year papers.

Oh, one last thing. Surreal it is.


Walau macammana sekali pun, have one thing, pegang pada ia. Menjadi senjata kamu, di saat sangaaaat memerlukan. What's urs?

Mine's do'a...

Doa banyak-banyak. Doa banyak-banyak.

Kita takkan pernah tau whatever that is going to happen in the future. Terbaik adalah kita serahkan pada yang Maha Tahu.. minta agar segala apa pun yang berlaku, kita dapat mengextract ibrahnya.. minta walau apa pun yang berlaku, He never leave us doing anything by our own.. minta agar walau macamamana down kita rasa, He will never let us go.. minta dan minta...minta segalanya dipermudah.. minta dan minta..

.. dan DIA maha memakbulkan do'a.. jika betul anda kata anda beriman....

Friday, October 30, 2009

I've been talking to potential supervisors since weeks ago and up to today I've met 4 supervisors at melbourne uni and one at the RMIT. Monash is too far and exam is too near. I don't know when I can go there. I'm still waiting for some who hasn't replied my email.

All these honours stuff, are scary. I don't have the confidence, honestly. Language has been the major barrier. Because what we need to have is a lot of discussion. And throwing ideas. And making them to understand what I want, what I mean, what I intend to say. And for me to follow their train of thoughts, their elaboration, their enthusiasm on their projects. And personally, it's been hard. And yea I admit openly that my english not not good at all.

I'm not enthusiastic at all about doing the research projects. They are all too complex and need a lot of hard work. I'm just enthusiastic about staying here for another year. Just that. Just that can motivate me in go ahead with the application (and of course, the email MOE sent, that sets unless we really can't do it with concrete reasons, we have to do honours!).

Why am I writing all these?

The focus now is the exam. Kalau semangat macammana pun nak buat honours, kalau tak pass exam. tak bleh jugak!

Saja tulis, sebab rasa down. Lagi dan lagi.

Jap lagi delete la.

Smile eh!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

129: Lifetime

Something that made us all laugh today, despite the stress and the tense atmosphere of revising for exam.

The lifetime of a particle is similar to that of human. The fatter it is (refering to the linewidth), the shorter the lifetime. You see, the principal is never violated quantum mechanically and classically.

A kejam joke. Tapi able to make us all smile. It's refreshing to realize that all these nerdy looking students are still able to smile. Haha.

Tak kelakar? nasibla.

Anyway, doakan semoga segala dipermudah. I have a scientific journal due tomorrow at midnight. Barely started the introduction. It's a wonder how we can type so much for a blog entry in just a couple of mins. How to make it work just as much for a journal eh?

Jika Allah mentakdirkan sedemikian, insyaALLAH I'll be graduating this December. (Ya Allah let me pass all the subjects, amin!). Its a surreal feeling. I'm graduating. And sungguh tak sangka.. last week we had our last lectures. And, I was pondering. 'This is my last lecture in my undergrad year... but I don't think I know any physics at all!!'

(er suddenly teringin nak tulis banyak..but....)

After the last paper I'll have plenty of time InsyaAllah. I'm not going back. My family won't be here (T_T.. masih mengharap, tapi I'm okay je). So, tulis banyak-banyak lepas habis exam la kot Mai eh? Not now, not now, definitely not now!

Okay, miss the family at home. Doakan munah. Doakan munah. Doakan munah.


29 Oct - Observational Astrophysics journal due
02 Nov - X-Ray Diffraction & Analysis report due
16 Nov - Electrodynamics exam
23 Nov - Atomic Molecular and Solid State Physics exam
26 Nov - Sub-Atomic Physics exam
11 Dec - Result released
17 Dec - Graduation ceremony

Friday, October 23, 2009


Copied pasted.
Jackson is our Electrodynamics textbook.


One Jackson problem takes an average of 1.5
weeks to finish. Most of this time is often spent
working on the first part of a multipart problem.
An approximate breakdown of the timeline of
solving a Jackson problem is:

Days 1-2: Arguing about what exactly the
problem is asking, what assumptions to
make, why the problem can’t be done as
stated, why Mathematica cannot handle the
integral, why Jackson probably didn’t do
any of these problems, why the intial 10
pages of algebra failed to deliver the
correct answer.

Day 3: Rechecking the 10 pages of algebra
for a missing minus signs and factors of 2.

Day 4: Starting the problem over the exact
same way as before since it is not clear
where the algebra mistake came from.

Day 5: Discussing with the professor and
realizing the problem is not as easy/hard as
previously thought and that 4 days were
wasted doing the problem the wrong way.

Day 6: Reworking the problem this new
way: 13 pages of Algebra.

Day 7: Realizing this new way didn’t work
either, and discussing with professor why it
was wrong. After getting an extension and
“knowing” the correct way to do the
problem, swearing it will get done

Day 8: After working 15 pages of Algebra,
you realize that a minus sign was left out
on page 2. Reworking all of it, you are off
by a factor of 2 from the expected answer.
Going back and reworking, you find the
missing factor on page 3 of 16. The first
part of a 3 part problem is now done. No
other homework or research was done
today (or the past 5 days).

Day 9: Part b is not as hard, but still takes 6
pages of Algebra.

Day 10: Part c takes 2 pages of algebra and
a page of words trying to answer a
conceptual question that no one cares about
at this point.

Day 11: Turn in the homework assignment,
and reflect on how much was learned and
how horrible the problem was. It takes 24
pages total.


Felt good when you realize you're not alone, except the first part. It takes more than 2 days for me, to just nak memahamkan the question..And also I'm not as diligent.. siap jumpe lecturer n argue2.. huhu

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Assalamualaikum wbt

Yesterday was my 22nd birthday. Ada apa pada birthday, ye? Frankly, I don't mind about it much. But its a wonderful feeling when people get in touch with you again. It's not so much about the wishes. (Semoga Allah memakbulkan segala doa-doa kalian). It's more about how you realize you're surrounded by people who care. You are surrounded by great people, ranging from your friends, your classmates, your extended family, people you just met once, and so ramai lagi. (and yet you feel so lonely? there must be something wrong with you)

Jazakunnallah khayran kathira for my friends who held a mini get-together sempena my birthday semalam. Dah lama kita tak bergelak ketawa bersama, lepaskan segala kontrol macho.. just us, only us. I'm sorry I spoiled it in a way. I am never good at 'reacting'. Ditambah semalam dgn sakit kepala (yang berhenti kejap masa makan-makan tu.. and then habis je, terus sakit balik.. heh).


Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal..

Atas hayat ini Ya Allah..

Atas hidayah sepanjang hayat ini Ya Allah..

Atas rezeki sepanjang hayat ini Ya Allah..

Atas kesyukuran sepanjang hayat ini Ya Allah..

Atas ujian-ujian sepanjang hayat ini Ya Allah..

Atas individu-individu yang ku temu sepanjang hayat ini Ya Allah..

Atas mujahadahku sepanjang hayat ini Ya Allah..

Atas taubatku sepanjang hayat ini Ya Allah..

Atas segalanya sepanjang hayat ini Ya Allah..

Allahumma ahyiyna bil imaan.. wa amitna bil iman...
wa adkhilna jannata ma'al imaan...


Kepalaku masih melayang-layang.
Entah bila nak mendarat.. huhu.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

126: Mood tu ape ye?

The never ending lab report...

Here we are..

The group from The University of Melbourne inside one of the beamline hatch made of lead. Superman will be saved in here.
from left: Azah (1st year PhD), me, Rowen (3rd year undergrad), Sam (3rd year PhD), Roger (Assoc Prof, our lecturer), and Amelia (3rd year undergrad)

Assalamualaikum wbt..

Dear family and friends.

Tatau nak tulis apa.

Mood untuk bercerita agak hilang.

Entah kenapa.

Sharing eh?

Nak share apa?



Apa korang nak baca ek?

Semalam g synchrotron, best gak la. Smgt nak sambung belajo. Doakanlah.

Saya tidak berapa sihat. Doakanlah.

Saya banyak kerja. Nak buat tapi asik bertangguh. No one to be blamed but yours truly. Mata dan otak sukar nak fokus. Terima kasih. Doakanlah.

Rindu la family. Duduk makan bersama di meja beso. Bercerita. Laugh at the jokes that only us can understand.

Kalau saya sambung belajar, mungkin tak balik summer ni. Kalau saya tak sambung, mungkin balik after graduation. End of December or early January.

Senyumlah. Orang boleh bahagia tengok kita senyum.

^_^ v

Friday, October 16, 2009

125: A Call to Prayer

It's the time..

when just hearing the call of prayer..

the "Allahu akbar.."

the "La ilaha illAllah.."

the "Muhammadur Rasullullah.."

just that..

can make your eyes flooded with tears...


Hati terlalu rindu, mungkin.

..kerana sendiri yang menjauh...

Friday, October 9, 2009

124: (1 2 4) This plane is not part of a face-centred cubic structure kot? Dia mesti all even or all odd.

Asymptotic freedom. Google lah about it and tell me if it makes sense to you. If it does, please simplify it to me since I need to write an essay about it.

X-Ray diffraction and analysis. I have a feeling I'm going to apply for projects related to this. Or generally, synchrotron science. Something exciting to get me excited: We're going to Synchrotron next week!

I hate symbols. I'm having hard times interpreting and translating them. I hate bombastic words. Kenapa susah-susah letak jargons when you can just use simple terms. Make life easier for semua, terutama sekali orang melayu yang tak fasih english macam saya! Eigen eigen eigen. Honestly I still don't get it!! Kenapa keep on using words words words when you can actually draw them? Make life easier for visual person like yours truly yang juga tidak fasih berbahasa english. Yela, kena tangkap apa dia cakap dulu, kalau ada jargons, kene translate dulu, baru nak make sense of it. Baru bleh nak imagine. Lambat. (Ha'ah, tau saya mengarut, I'm studying in an english speaking country, I know, tapi tidak sedar diri.)

QuickBrew. Aldi's Coffee brand. My best friend this week. Able to keep me awake, but left me feeling the weakest ever.

Hari ni takde lab, Alhamdulillah. Tapi tak sihat.. So tak utilize this morning sgt. Malam tadi pun pening kepala, tak study jugak. Urg, felt like a failure and useless. Class in 2 hrs time, takbley ponteng, kot?

Eh awak! Exam in 4 weeks time kamu tidak sedar kah??


Ya Allah, never ever let me go.


(If you think holding on is hard, wait until you let go...)


Need to be inside a modulus.
So that whatever it is.. I am always positive. Heh.

|-Maimunah| = Maimunah.


(I know, sangat lame)

Monday, October 5, 2009

123: One Two Three

Sedang stress. Sedang sedih. Semoga segalanya dipermudah. Teringin nak nyanyi lagu opick nih.. reflecting my emotional state right now..


Detik waktu terus berjalan
berhias gelap dan terang
suka dan duka tangis dan tawa
tergores bagai lukisan ...

Seribu mimpi berjuta sepi
hadir bagai teman sejati
di antara lelahnya jiwa
dalam resah dan air mata
kupersembahkan kepadaMu
yang terindah dalam hidupku ...


Sambunglah sendiri..

Cool cool ye..

Everything happens with His will, in His plan.. He is the most aware of all things. Most powerful! He can do whatever He wants. The best. Ever.

"Syukurlah" She said.

Yer, sgt bersyukur kerana masih dipilihNya .. untuk merasakan hikmah di sebalik ujian..

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

Fasbir sabran jameela..

And.. the power of du'a.. ingat tuh.


Btw, saya mahu grad!

Kehidupan mata lebam kembali~

4 weeks of lab, starting tomorrow until the last week of semester.. 4 hours everyday~ yay!

3 assignments, 1 essay, 1 lab report, 1 scientific journal.. all within 4 weeks~ yay!

3 subjects which I'm struggling with.. tak faham kot~ yay!

One last semester, insyaAllah.

Ya Allah, I want to graduate this year!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

122: In need indeed

Please remind me why I was so enthusiastic in the first place.

Remind me why I was so motivated, then.

Make me remember why I thought I can do this.

Refresh my memory, why I thought this is worth it...

Remind me, please.. remind me.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

121: Falls

Mckenzie Falls

Silverband Falls

Berjatuhanlah air ..
Tak pernah berhenti mengalir ..

Hidup kita yang bersekitar air.. susah betul hati mahu merenung dalam-dalam dan menghayati.. dan merasai nikmat Tuhan atas diri ini.. yang tak pernah putus dan tak terbatas ...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

120: Intrigue

Rindu belajar arabic. Recently kene mengimbas kembali cara-cara pembelajaran dulu. Tulis makna atas new vocab! Alhamdulillah atas peluang ini...

Wah! Sgt teruja dapat surat ni tadi. Mau graduate!!
Allahumma yasirli...

Oh, btw, Eid Mubarak

Taqabalallah minna wa minkum

Kullu am wa antum bi khair

Maaf Zahir & Batin

Thursday, September 17, 2009

119: Banjiran huruf

Again, semoga tabah membaca :)
I'm rambling.


Minggu ni saya berkobar-kobar buat research tentang projects untuk Honours year. Saya email lecturer-lecturer berkaitan, potential supervisors. Read through description of projects yang kami dapat masa Honours/Master briefing hari tu. Sticky notes everywhere on the papers. Taking notes of supervisors' interest, taking notes their room number, their emails, etc.. Saya dah jumpa Honours coordinator dan berbincang tentang course structure and my own interest nak buat apa. Mula-mula berniat mungkin boleh minta dia jadi supervisor juga (He's one of my lecturer too, dan dia sangat baik!) tapi when I said I'm more interested in experimental physics, he said I won't be interested in his projects. Lepas tu he recommended to me some of his collegues and their projects. Sangat semangat kot dia cerita. Penat haku mengangguk-angguk dan senyum-senyum dan mata nak berair sebab force myself to focus. Susah kot nak digest everything bila sgt banyak and its all in english (physics english, if there's such a term). So lepas jumpa dia diri ini pun terasa sangat bersemangat. Emailed lecturers again and setting up appointments...

Then masuk kelas Electrodynamics, dapat assignment feedback. Terus down.. terus down.. wargh, teruknya markah assignment! Semalam pun dapat markah mid-sem test balik, wargh, teruk jugak markah! Diri pun terdiam..

Hey, lupa ke yang kamu tu takdela genius mana, pastuh nak buat Honours in Physics? T_T Habis berterbangan semangat kobar-kobarku. Bak burung-burung berterbangan yang makin lama makin tinggi dan jauh...

Memang jika diikutkan hati yang lara, malas nak sambung Honours. I just want to graduate and go back to Malaysia, masuk IPTI sambung KPLI. Happily ever after. Yang dok sibuk-sibuk apply Honours and menyusahkan diri dan menschizokan otak for another year buat apa kan?? Coursework sangat berat. 4 400-level Physics subjects in one semester, then research. Honours kot! Entrance pun hari tu course coordinator kata 75%. Huyo. Pastu I justified kata I checked it was 65! Pastu dia kata "oh maybe.. oh maybe!"

Tapi, I revised revised balik argument-argument yang caused me to semangat-semangat in the first place, and sikit-sikit regain balik la cuma sekarang masih belum sesemangat awal-awal. One thing, belum cuba belum tahu kan?

Dan perancangan Allah tu indah. Memang susah kot, no doubt. Tapi Allahkan ada untuk tolong. Dari sekarang Dia tolong.. terasa sangat.

Remember I wrote last time I wasn't sure why I chose to do the xray research experience lab tu kan?? Dahlah it will run for 4 weeks. Dah la banyak kali postponed and end up kami akan buat the lab on every week (12 hours per week) sampai habis semester ni T_T, dengan assignments yang banyaknya pada masa tersebut and journal submission lagi! I don't know how I'll cope later... I just pray and pray He'll guide me through, ease my way and strenghten me..

Bila discussed dengan coordinator tu, turned out that all projects yang I am interested in are related to X-ray diffraction. Hoho. Jadi, lab ni akan sangat membantu kot! In third year labs, kita takkan buat semua lab, tapi bila we choose a lab, memang sgt intensive and at the end of each lab, kita akan dapat menguasailah serba-sedikit tentang lab tersebut.

I don't know how others will perceive this. But scrap that. What I perceive and gain at the end of the day is the most important thing kan. Tarbiah straight from Him. (Haha, suddenly teringat headline yang Najib buat.. Tarbiah itu penting or something like that.. ok takde kena mengena).

Allah itu mengikut sangkaan hamba-hambaNya...

I feel loved, ya Al-Wadud.

Ramadhan kali ini, (oh its gonna end very soon! sob sob sob sob!!!) aku dididik in a similar but kinda different way from previous Ramadhans. Yang pasti, sangat halus. Sangat halus!

Lab yang dipostponed for a month. That's a whole month of Ramadhan, you know! Bila I complained that I wouldn't have enough time to do my best in amalan ruhi this ramadhan, He gave me this. A whole month free of lab + a lecturer yang ada conference in oxford, no lectures lagi!. When we ask and pray, Allah Maha Memakbulkan doa! Then bila dah dapat it's all up to me nak buat apa dengan kurniaNya. Oh Allah T_T ... I'm scared that I'm failing this, as well. Allahumma afuwun kareem.. tuhibbu afw, fa'fuanni.. I'm trying my best insyaAllah (sebenarnya sangat takut nak cakap 'Im trying my best'because I KNOW I haven't pushed myself to the limit.. far from it!!).. but oh Allah, help me in doing my best! La hawla wala quwwata illa billah.. push myself.. push myself!

Ramadhan bulan mendidik hati. Ingin sangat nak jadi the best in pandangan manusia. Tapi why?? Oh diriku, itu sungguhlah tak penting!! Yang paling penting and nothing else matters is how you are pada pandangan Allah. Hubungan dengan Allah.. jadi hamba-Nya yang terbaik!! jadi yang terbaik pada Dia yang Maha Tinggi, insyaAllah akan jadi yang terbaik dikalangan manusia...

Tazkiyatunnafs.. Sungguh hati ini perlu selalu dicuci dan disental. Sangat kotor!! Benda paling basic, salamatussodri pun fail!

Teruskan mendidik hatimu..

'Wa ammaman khofa maqama rabbihi.. wanahannafsa anil hawa..fainnal jannata hiyal ma'wa!" .. sila flip through surah An-Naziat.

Juga.. bagaimana tawakal kepada Allah itu?

... sehingga tak ada rasa kerisauan dan gelisah..
... yakin yang Allah sentiasa handle everything.. in the best way.
... la khaufun 'alaihim walahum yahzanun..

hingga hilang rasa takut, dan hilang segala kesedihan!

Sebenarnya banyak perkara yang tak tercapai yang hati nak sangat buat. This Ramadhan. Mahu ke sana dan ke sini. Mahu jumpa orang tu dan orang ni. Mahu buat itu dan buat ini. Sungguh-sungguh.. bulan ini bulan menyucikan hati aku. Why are you doing all these? untuk apa? untuk siapa? refleks.

Tapi one thing, my struggle untuk mengubah sikap procrastinator dan malas will continue.. sukar! T_T. Bila ia telah menjadi darah daging.. huhuhu. Kadang-kadang terjadi di bawah sedar. Alasan!

Okay gambar will follow.. takde kena mengena :)

Ini pantai! Alhamdulillah berjaya melepas rindu dan berjiwang barang seminit-dua. Erk, gambo senget. Masa ni angin sangat kuat. Susah nak stabil pegang camera.

Featuring for the first time in this blog, Al-Adiyat. Tapi skrg dia macam tak sihat. Nak kena bawa jumpa doktor pakar dia la.. Semoga kamu dapat berjasa lama-lama! Hmm.. I just realised I know nothing about car! yela, selama ni tak terfikir kot!

My favorite bit of Sydned Rd yang panjang. Ada Tabet's bakery (cheese bread yang sedaaap!), ada International Food House (halal gelatin, rempah2 exotic etc.. tapi jarang pergi.. I just like the secure feeling yang everything ada kalau nak heh), ada Brunswick Market (Halal meat), ada kebab best, ada Nando's, ada surau dekat, ada parking murah dan senang! :)

Record! First time baking after my almost 3 years here. Walaupun nampak burok (cubaan nak buat marble warna-warni), tapi Alhamdulillah sedap. Bila baker rumah ni dah bermukim di Geelong, pelanggan utamanya kena carik jalan untuk survive.. heheh. I want butter cake!!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

118: The Second Law of Thermodynamics: Entropy always increases

Kelakar. Bila ada deadline yang sangat dekat, masa tu juga lah idea untuk menulis melimpah-ruah. Mungkin sebab saat-saat macam ni otak berfikir lebih dan secara otomatiknya terfikir benda lain juga? Esok due assignment Electrodynamics. Macam biasa, saya takkan pernah faham the physics of the subjects kalau exam bukan one week from now... cuak, namun usaha sangat minimal. Sibuk mengoogle lecture notes, solved problems , dan worked examples dari tadi. Dahlah internet quota sudah exceed. Halaju internet adelah dalam 2 kilo byte per hour (I'm exaggerating, of course). Dah masuk 2 mug of coffees. Cadangnya nak stay up malam ni. We'll see how...


Kita ni merdeka (Oh, sungguh cliche). Kita tak terikat kepada sesiapa kecuali kepada Allah (Ya, cliche lagi). Jadi kenapa ya sesetengah orang act like sangat tidak merdeka? Kenapa pemikiranmu agak terkongkong, ya? Apa yang kamu takuti ya? Some things are better left unknown? are you sure? You can just accept the fact that some people have power over you without you really know why? they know better? how can you be so sure?


Ask, ask if you must. Ask if you're curious. Ask if you think it'll do you good. Ask if you're sure your intention is pure. Ask, don't bombard. Ask, don't bark. Tanye la kalau benar awak mencari kebenaran. Bukan sebab awak mengada-ngada nak menyakitkan hati orang. Bukan sebab awak nak mengoyahkan pendirian orang. Bukan sebab awak sakit hati. Ask, ask if you must. Because you want to know the truth. Because dia juga, once, ask. Dan dia juga pernah jadi si penakut yang tak mahu bertanya.

Pernah dengar kan? "Malu bertanya sesat jalan?"

Dan dia agak sesat, 2, 3 tahun.

Oh and yea, ask, ask the right person of course.

Ask me if you must.


Jangan suka bersangka, mun.


Maksudnya? gi amek quran kamu dan belek. It's for you to find out.


Ramadhan tinggal separuh. Dissatisfied with my prestasi T_T.


Ujian itu berat kerana kalau saya mati saat itu, saya mati dalam keadaan fasik, dalam keadaan zalim.

Tetapi kalau saya mati dalam ujian yang lagi satu itu, saya mati dalam keadaan syahid, biiznillah.


Ihdal husnayain :)


Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal.

Childish me, have to grow up. I keep on failing and falling. But He's oft-forgiving, maha penyayang. Allahumma firghlana.. Allahumma islahbainana... Allahumma yasirlana..


Ideal? ;)
Realitikan ia dengan keyakinanmu.



Monday, August 31, 2009

117: Refleksion

Bismillah.. semoga you all tabah membaca post ini, heh. Agak random dan tidak dirangka dahulu.

kononnye work-in-progress

Sebenarnya sungguh mengujikan bila pagi-pagi free dan petang baru start kelas, bila semua orang dah balik dan dah habis kelas. Ada satu test Jumaat ni, dan ada assignment to be submitted Isnin depan. Next week dah ada lab, Advanced X-Ray diffraction. Lab tu, akan berjalan selama 4 minggu! tak tahu kenapa hati tergerak nak pilih lab yang tu padahal kalau nak ikut neraca minat, mesti akan pilih Radio Telescope... (boleh pilih one from three research experience lab work) .. pilihan dibuat dalam masa 10 saat. Huhuhuhu. Nyesal? Kuserahkan segalanya kepada Allah... hati tenang.

Pagi tadi, try baca nota untuk test, baru 3 lectures dibaca, dah tertidur nyenyak siap mimpi ter-electrocuted. Sakit terasa sampai terbangun. Serius sakit.

Ok, nak try baca lagi.. lepas tu otak reason-reason cakap kene cari mood. Teringat yang dah lama tak melukis. Rindu. Huhu. Dah berkarat. Jadilah lukisan in-progress di atas tu. Sungguh sudah berkarat (atau sememangnya tak reti melukis haha). Tak reti lukis tangan aa..tengok la kat atas tu, tangan cam hape..need to add more work to it.

Hati berangan nak lukis and then nak buat something, letak ayat2 ke buat wallpaper ke.. yg kononnye bleh bawa manfaat kat orang. Sebab rasa cam, membazirnya kalau buat sesuatu hanya sebab nak memuaskan nafsu melukis dan membuang masa... might as well gain something from it, walaupun sebenarnya takdela berbakat mana.

Sangat banyak nak cerita sebenarnya.. tapi masa agak suntuk (dan aku lagi bazirkan masa dengan melukis? sungguh ironi!!).. tapi nak cakap yang rasa seronoklah. Kalau tak sambung honours next year, this will be my last ramadhan here (oh, suddenly rasa sebak). Ramadhan ketiga... rasa cam "waaaa sayangnye.. banyak lagi tak discover and tak experience bende2 di melbourne nih" ..

Lt Pelham St Musolla

Fatih Mosque

Preston Mosque

So semalam kami terawikh di Omar Al-Khattab Mosque, Preston. Tadi kami terawikh di Fatih Mosque, Coburg. Kebanyakan malam kami terawikh di Lt Pelham St Musolla (Uni of Melbourne's yang terletak walking distance from our home sweet home). Dah masuk 11 Ramadhan .. semoga Allah memberi keizinan kepada diriku untuk mendapat experience2 yang berharga lagi... Sungguh seronok bila dapat merasai pelbagai suasana. Sungguh seronok. Kepelbagaian Imam dan cara bacaan masing-masing..kepelbagaian culture .. kepelbagaian segalanya..

Masjid-masjid yang masih belum berkesempatan utk di discover.. ICV (Islamic Council of Victoria), North Melbourne's, Brunswick's, Carlton's, RMIT's , Dandenong's! ... Oh, nak ke Malaysian Hall juga. Hati selalu berniat mahu ke sana, namun selalu things came up. Mungkin Sabtu ni.

Tadi masa terawikh Imam baca juzu' 12.. surah Hud. Sebelum start solat, ada sorang pakcik (tak pasti Imam ke tak.. housemate kata Tawfique Chowdury tapi tidak dapat disahkan walaupun beliau amat yakin) bagi short summary tentang apa yang akan dibaca dan pengajaran darinya. Korang boleh la rujuk apa isi surah tu dengan membaca surah tersebut. Mainly Allah ceritakan tentang kaum-kaum terdahulu yang diazab.. kaum Nabi Nuh.. kemudian kaum Ad.. kemudian kaum Thamud.. kemudian kaum Nabi Lut..

Lepas tu start terawikh... suara imam mendayu membacakan firman-firman Allah yang mengisahkan cerita-cerita tersebut.. sungguh terasa.. aku dapat tangkap makna sikit2 dari some perkataan yang agak common.. baru terasa syukur yang amat sangat kerana aku ada basic arabic.. and syukur dapat faham walaupun sedikit.. at least dapat tangkap kat part mana imam tengah baca.. dapat bayangkan macammana Nabi Nuh memujuk anaknya.. macammana Nabi Nuh mengadu kat Allah.. selamatkan anaknya.. dia anaknya!.. macammana Nabi Nuh meminta ampun dan memohon perlindungan kepada Allah daripada dirinya meminta perkara-perkara yang tak diketahui hakikatnya...... dan banyak lagi... dan banyak lagi..

dengan limitednye my arabic sungguh terasa lain level penghayatan berbanding dulu (bila tak cuba utk memahami..) ..... sungguh terasa jealous kepada mereka yang faham arabic.. mesti mereka dapat lebih menghayati.... InsyaAllah akan terus berusaha utk belajar!

Sungguh sebenarnya baru terasa bermakna sangat-sangat solat bila faham makna-maknanya.......... indescribable!!!! Berada di hadapan Allah, tunduk.. dan menuturkan firman-firmannya sendiri di hadapanNya... Ya Allah aku bersaksi aku sudah membaca firman-firmanMu ini..... lalu tiada alasan lagi untuk mengatakan aku tak ketahui..........


Rezeki masa ramadhan ni tak putus-putus :)

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal....

Maryam's masterpiece.. ingat tak picture of a girl yg i put up a few posts back? Ha, Maryam itulah! Tadi iftar dirumahnya.. umminya masak nasi bukhari.. :)


Banyaknye nak cerita..

one thing for sure..


Sunday, August 30, 2009

116: Trust

I came across this as I blog-hopped..


Me, sitting in the car, quiet…

My mom, points outside the window, calls my name: “What is that?”

“The sky,” I answer in monotone.

“Are you sure? Are you positive?”


“Well as certain as you see that sky, be certain that Allah will handle your matters…”

...Your trust in Allah should be as certain as you can see that sky.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

115: Quranic Reflections

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuh..
How are you this Ramadhan? It's the fifth day of the blessed month. Are you going strong with the momentum or has it being decreased linearly with time by the damping force of this dunya and the friction of our own nafs? (hopefully not exponentially though!).

Anyway, hati ini mahu berkongsi 'penemuan' terbaru.. hehe. Anyone heard of Amr Khaled? Subhanallah a talented speaker.. Nak kongsi a book of his..

Quranic Reflections
(Don't save target as! click here and pilih file yang tulis Amr Khaled Quranic Reflection part 1, 2 and 3 pdf)

Excerpt from the introduction part of the book...

"The idea behind this book haunted me for ten years, especially in Ramadan of each year, when Muslims all over the Islamic world dedicate their time to reading the entire Qur’an during this blessed month. However, I found it truly regrettable that this genuine desire to read the Qur’an was not associated with a clear understanding of each surah’s objectives, reasons of revelation, and the core message addressed to us. As a result, I found people reading the Qur’an and feeling that its meanings were somewhat alien to them. Some might even find them enigmatic or meant to be read without proper understanding of their essence or purposes. Others might grasp the meaning of the wording of the ayahs, but find no connection between one ayah and the next, and instead consider them a series of unrelated ayahs in one surah. They might even think that there is no main objective that links all the ayahs of the surah. This is the cornerstone of this book. It is a humble piece of work that breaks the barriers between the youths of our Ummah and the Noble Book of Allah (SWT)...."

Saye tak baca lagi.. tapi hope you all can benefit from it :D InsyaAllah saya pun akan baca!!!

Semoga tilawah kita bukan sekadar tilawah nak memperhabis Quran cepat-cepat.

Teringat ada sorang ustaz tu kata.. kalaulah nak baca quran setakat nak dpt pahala, takyah susah-susah Allah turunkan satu quran tu (of course sebenarnya tak susah bagi Allah..) .. sebab baca Alim Lam Mim pun dapat pahala 10, 10 dan 10.. bacelah ulang2 insyaAllah dapat jugak pahala.. tapi Quran ada banyaaaaaak sgt lagi yang kita boleh and HARUS or WAJIB amek because of course, IT IS OUR GUIDE OF LIFE!!!..

Okies everyone! Selamat berpesta ibadah.. insyaAllah meraih TAQWA...

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

114: I Love Allah!

It's 4th Ramadhan!


Suddenly it came dawn on me yesterday. Suddenly it's week 5! This semester only has 12 weeks. Then I started 'cuak'ing. 3 subjects, I barely understand.

This Ramadhan, harus sangat berusaha study. Kelas yang penuh. Bangun sahur + qiam 4.30.. subuh n ma'thurat and tadarus etc habis around 7 am. Siap-siap cek emel, print lecture notes etc .. siap-siapkan diri.. lab starts at 9. Then everyday my classes end at 5. Then balik, terus bersiap utk berbuka. Then ke terawikh. Then balik selalu around 9.30 pm. Settle down everything, 10 pm baru nak start belajar? and the cycle goes on... Time is so precious. Nak memahamkan subject2, utk mereka yg mengenali saya, half an hour hanya utk dapatkan the mood.. another half to get which part should I cover, then only search for materials, then only boleh baca dan berusaha memahamkan dan buat soalan etc. Tak berubah since first year T_T. Not good!!!

Mujahadah is the word. Not a single second to be wasted, supposedly. Aaaaaa!!!


I stopped typing those paragraph this morning since I was rushing to go to the lab.

So, I rushed!

Sampai-sampai lab jumpa demonstrator. Ohoho.

"I'm doing x-ray diffraction this week!" dgn semangatnya.. so that he can showed me where should I go. Tapi dia pandang muka saya pelik.

"X-ray? that's for the research experience right? but that won't start until the week after."

Err.. "Really?"

So begitulah ceritanya. Susah pulak nak cerita structure of physics lab ni tapi pendek cerita because I chose to do research experience masa mula-mula dulu, this week and next week takde lab!! Cuma kene buat lab lebei after spring break (bila semua org dah habis lab) but it will be a lot of fun since it'll be at the Synchrotron! Excited. Heh.

Baru mengadu kat Allah rasa macammana Ramadhan ni? rasa sgt busy etc tak sempat nak betul2 khusyuk etc2.. dengan assignments n tests coming.. huhu..

Allah As-Sami'. Saya sayaaaaang Allah! Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah!

Lagi satu, mungkin Allah tau saya masih belum bersedia utk berkorban takat hyper. Huhu. Kuakui kelemahanku Ya Allah..

Jadi dengan kesempatan dan rezeki kali ni, tak mungkin dipersia-siakan insyaAllah!!! Mujahadah until mempergunakan segala saat dan ketika yang ada.

Jadi, right after I publish this entry, I should go upstairs to the Physics library and do my assignment! yahyah! (I'm now at the 3rd year Physics reading room).

Sila khatam quran ramadhan kali ni, okeh muna??? Tiada alasan lagik!

I love Allah!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

113: Tabligh

Ramadhan is less than 24 hours away.

Ya Allah I want to feel it again, Ya Allah!

The sweetness when I cried those tears.. same time last year. Sangat rindu.. sangat rindu. Nak merasainya lagi. Merasai cinta-Mu. Merasai Your presence.. Merasai kasih-sayang saat-saat ujian bertandang.. Merasai merasai merasai ....

Pilih aku Ya Allah..

and yet right now I'm struggling with kerja-kerja duniawi.. report yang baru berapa percent and i'm still procrastinating some more!!

I want to concentrate.. to feel the feeling.. mahu khusyuk menghayati setiap nafas yang dihembus... yang mengeja KEHIDUPAN... memasuki madrasah Ramadhan..


Ah, mujahadah is the word! Siapkan report segera.. mujahadah melihat tanda-tandaNya dalam setiap perkara.. dalam mengkaji brightness and luminosity of the stars ini ada tandaNya! dalam mengukur jarak ke Virgo cluster juga ke Hydra I, ada tandaNya! dalam menafsir H-R diagram and stars sequences ada tandaNya! dalam menyalin balik report yang incomprehensible ada sangat-sangat tandaNya!!! dalam mujahadah menahan kantuk, ada tandaNya ;)

"Sanurihim ayatina fil afaaq... wa fi anfusikum.. hatta yatabayyanu annahul HAQ!"

Sila carik ayat mana.. that's for you to discover :D


Allahumma baligna Ramadhan

Saturday, August 15, 2009

112: They tell their stories

Some random pictures taken after winter break till now.. summarize my 3 weeks..

Outing with some puan-puan egyptians and they treat us with some egyptian delicacies yg tak igt namanya apa. Sanah, help? Ade kot some kofta, falafel.. etc2

Ini gambo paling recent antara gambar-gambar di sini. Il Dolce ice cream parlour baru buka balik selepas break kejap masa winter. So tadi gi makan ice cream with housemates. Yummy. Macam biasa, honeycomb crunch + apa2 flavor lain yg chocolatey and fatty semestinya... tapi honeycomb crunch is a must!

Hasan! sangat comel.

One of my physics coursemates. Ni semalam. Lecture hall kitorg kunci (last class on friday, building supervisor mesti igt takde kelas dah kat situ, dia pi kunci awal2) so lecturer lambat, and then sibuk2 cari kunci. So my coursemate tu smgt membuat kerja kat luar lecture hall. Anyway, the turn-ups semalam sangat lah menggalakkan. I'm so proud of my coursemates. Haha. Mmg dasar nerd. Walaupun satu kelas je hari ni, and pada waktu last-last, mereka tetap juga nak g kelas....

Ha, familyku.. inilah kedai Balha, kedai di mana I bought the backlava yang ramai suka itu~ manissss .. kedainya agak mewah, so harga baklava tu agak mewah juge..

Ini my lecturer for AMSSP (Atomic, Molecular and Solid State Physics) yang sedang menulis jalan kerja problem set... kerjaku, menyalin je tak faham sgt T_T

"Hi, my name is Maryam. I'm five years old!"

Ini Maryam, budak kecik yang baru seminggu sekolah kat OZ dah terpengaruh dengan slang2nya..

"Noee .. Not hiyah!"