Tuesday, April 26, 2016

249: Teaching blog

Just to let you all know I have started a new blog just for documenting my teaching journey. You can head to:


It maybe of interest of fellow teachers. Kalau yg lain, mungkin rasa bosan saje membaca nye. Haha.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

248: dreams

This morning I woke up feeling not a bit refreshed. I had this weird dream where I heard a familiar musics but it was annoying and went on forever. I tried to find the 'switch' to stop it, but to no avail. I ran here and there trying to find the source, panjat almari, tutup power supply for the whole building, tapi the sound didnt stop! I even had some random guys walked in and asked me 'Madam, pls turn off the musics, we have some works to do.." to that i said "yeah, i'm trying here!!"

Guess what the sound was?

yes, my alarm clock! No wonder I couldn't turn it off in my dream. I had to wake up and push the snooze button!!!

Still feeling 'meh'. No mood today.

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

247: Exhausted

Of course, I am not the most exhausted person on earth. But oh well, it helps when we talk about it.. just to ventilate.

Being a woman that plays multiple roles at once is surely the most challenging phase of my life right now. A phase that never ends, actually. A daughter, a wife, a mother, a teacher, an employee.. not to mention the fact that being a mother means playing hundreds roles and a teacher a thousand more!

Expectation is the cause of all heartache. It is harder when you put expectation on yourself. Dissapointment with your own self. That led to self pity. That led to jealousy. That led to kufr ni'mah. Astarghfirullah..

La'in syakartum la'azidannakum..

Bersyukur, dan Allah akan tambah ..

Positive attracts ...

Thank you Allah for this life full of adventures!! I love YOU!!!!

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

246: Routine

Being a teacher is a constant struggle between perfectly plan your lesson / completing all the clerical works in your free time and just taking a break after screaming for one hour non-stop. I work in the afternoon session so I punch in at 12.30 pm and punch out at 6.45 pm. That's about 6 hours of works and of course in a day, the maximum lessons that we have to attend to are 7 periods that are equals to 3 and a half hours. (1 period = 30 mins) So we have so much free time, people say.

I don't know, I guess like any other jobs, you won't know what it's like unless you do it yourself.

Like right now, we are having our sports day on Thursday. So all the teachers and students are busy with sports day preparation. I have to make the mascot, from scratch and that's what Im using my free time for, right now. Finishing the mascot at home is just out of questions. Beside that, I have to look over the PBSM students, making sure they got their uniform for sports day, managing their practice session etc2. Then at the same time I have to prepare the test paper for our formative test that will happen in less than 2 weeks time! And, at the same time! next week we are starting extra classes for KRK students so I have to prepare the jadual giliran and bahan etc2. Its never ending. These are all extra works on top of tugas hakiki planning lesson and conducting classes. That itself is major task for me, as well. I mean, walaupun dah 5 tahun jd cikgu, i still need to sit down n really plan my lesson. Kalau tak, mmg class will be haywired.

Anyway, this is not complaining. Just documenting.  Haha

Apepun, do more, judge less. Peace yo!

Sunday, February 21, 2016

245: allergies

Yusra is down with fever. She is also having cough and makes the wheezing sounds when she breathes. Today was her first time getting the nebulizer. Our first time, actually. I never had any encounter with the nebulizer before, nor had Kauthar or hubby. I asked the doc whether it is asthma, she said, we cant say that yet. If it happens more than thrice a year, then maybe we can move to that diagnosis. But for now, not yet.

Actually I occasionally had that kind of wheezy breathing. But it happened quite rarely. Once when I felt suffocated because we burnt the mosquitos ring insect repellant thingy, whatever we call it. I dont know why, but I just cant smell it. Another time was when I had too much mangoes... hihi. Guilty pleasure.

Anyway, I am quite worried but I pray to Allah it wont get any worse. I had history with severy eczema. Asthma and eczema are related I believed. Kauthar had eczema before she reached a year old. Hmm, hopefully this is just a normal sickness for growing toddler.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

244: Hysterical

I should be diligent in documenting my experiences in school. I should, but to find the moment to actually sit down and write is something so rare.

Sementara ada rare moment ni, baiklah saya update.

Yesterday I had a class with the most challenging class for me this year, the 2B3. The boys are hyperactives and cannot stop talking, finding faults of friends and end up fighting, like all the times. The girls are pleasant, however, that is a relief.

There is this one boy who until now is sulking with me. Merajok aduhai... lelaki emosi. It started few weeks ago when he sat at the back of the class not doing anything that I asked the whole class to do. His note book was so clean and clear. His activity book is also unopened, padahal we were discussing few pages already. Jadi saya bertukarlah kepada singa, naturally. I was holding a huge makmal ruler used to point to the slides in front. Because I was mad, I hit the boy's table with the ruler coincidently hitting his book, resulting with a torn page! (Thats why it was very dangerous holding things when you are unstable emotionally). Then, this boy started sulking. Merajuk. Semua salah cikgu. Afterwards when I saw him, he refuses to look at me, He said he has thrown out all his Science books because I tore a page of his never-written-on book. Everything is teacher's fault. Sebab cikgu saya tak boleh belajar. Cikgu dah koyakkan buku saya. Hmm.. geram tak. What an attitude, never want to see own fault. Keep on blaming others. Since then whenever I saw him, although he refuses to look at me, I membebel nontop at him. Awak tak nak belajar, awak yang rugi. Cikgu tak rugi. Cikgu sampai bila-bila akan cuba sedayanya mengajar semua sama rata. Awak yang pilih nak belajar atau tidak. Nak salahkan cikgu atau terima kesalahan sendiri.

Anyway, back to my real intention of writing, nak cerita about yesterday's class. The topics is about Sound and Hearing. So I had to explain about sound. What is sound? Sound is vibration. So I told them to say 'aaaaa' while putting their hand on their throat. Can they feel the vibration? So, these guys just love the opportunity to make noises. I only asked them to say 'aaa' casually, but it ended up become a scene full of hysterical people screaming at the top of their lungs "AAAAAA!!!!". The whole school was shocked, mind you. Teacher from the class next door even went out and peek into my class, worrying whether a fight was going on.

Later after I finished the class I met one student. Cikgu, tadi cikgu ngaja ke? Ada budak kene histeria ke?

Oh well, I just hope the class at least remember the point of the activity was to show that sound is vibration.

Sunday, January 24, 2016


I wish I blogged more often. Its 2016, wow. I've been blogging since I was in form four (2003) or maybe earlier. I found that blogging is not for others. When I reread my archives, I learn more about myself and I reflect a lot. Blogging is for me, to help myself. But if it's helping others too, then I consider that as a bonus!

In some post before I have written how my thoughts are scattering everywhere. They are still like that, right now. I haven't come back from the soul searching mission yet. Havent found the correct formula, or my 'aha!' moment. I pray to Allah He will never abandon me, I know He wont, I wish I will always bear that in mind.

That everything happens in His will.


oh but then I have to cut short this post since the 2 year old Yusra has asked me to change her diaper.