Monday, October 30, 2017

253: Need to freeze this moment

Yesterday was the day I laughed the hardest that my first born,  Kauthar got worried.

We were praying Isya together and were on the last sujud before finishing 4 raka'ah.

Yusuf (1 year 1 month) was playing around his abi. Usually he would imitate our sujud and ru'ku. Before sujud I saw him standing up and then getting closer to abi to a position that I initially thought for sujud. I couldn't see clearly since I proceeded with my own sujud movement.

But suddenly I hear "Ow!" Yusuf bit his abi's hand! And his abi was so surprised that he couldn't help but shouted but then he tried to cover it up with "Allahu akbar" to proceed with tahiyat akhir.

I on the other hand couldn't contain my laughter. Remember, we were on the final raka'ah already!! It took quite few minutes until I finally able to breathe properly again because of the laughter.  And then,  of course,  need to repeat the prayer. Yes,  abi as well because he also laughed after he heard my laugh burst.

Oh the random things your kids did 😂

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

252: Harsh Reality

Hati sangat sayu hari ini. How could I teach the students the same way again? I can never look at the group of students without feeling disgusted and angry..  And sad. Mostly sad,  kot.

Somehow we knew that one of them did the unthinkable! A form 2 boy with form 1 girl! And they were both willing. God,  they are just a little kid! Anggap macam kanak2 sbb sememangnya perangai and attitude macam kanak2. But the way they reacted to this issue pun mcm kanak2.  How fast the gossip reaches everyone due to social media. And how destructive the technology is.

The children need proper sexual education. Parents need to prepare for their children,  because if they didn't , the children will learn faster from their friends,  from social medias,  from explicit content it or not,  its happening.  The topics shouldn't be a taboo to be discussed openly.

Sayunya..  😢

And how scary..  Ya Allah,  peliharalah maruah dan kehormatan keluargaku,  zuriat2ku.. Ni'mal maula wa ni'mannasir..

Thursday, February 23, 2017

251: Going with the flow

I don't know why,  but this year, work suddenly gets so hectic. I barely have time to catch my breath after each class,  there are thousands of stuff that i need to do. My brain is also constantly thinking about so many things. I feel so tired but i cannot stop.

My only rest time is my night sleep when the kids are already asleep.  Like right now..  But the mind still refuses to shut down. Thinking about the observation on sunday,  need to prepare the toolkits for it, science competition for 2 classes that need to be finalised by wednesday, the prep,  the script, the shooting...  Thinking about lesson planning, what to do each day,  what to bring each day, thinking about the kids..  How they havent fully recover from their cough and flu yet but still being sent to school,  guilt feeling.. Thinking about why is it so hard for yusuf to doze off...

And i terdoze off for few seconds just now... I guess its time..

Thursday, February 2, 2017

250: The little things

Being a science teacher has its perk. Due to family commitment, i rarely have the opportunity to attend islamic classes or lectures anymore,  no matter how much i yearn to. But, when i'm teaching in class,  i rediscover points that used to touched me in the past. I am being reminded of the little things that Allah has bestowed on all of us that brings huge meaning.

For instance, in the last lesson about the human eye, how magical and magnificent Allah's creation is. Our eye lens,  one thing that we take for granted. How the lens can focus and unfocus at objects instantly,  sometimes without even think about it. And how we have this eyes since we were born but they are still flexible and working effortlessly. 

I love the fact that i am teaching the facts  about this world and how it is so close fo our fitrah. I can easily relate any topics to makrifatullah..  But the challenge is to be able to balance out everything.. Lesson planning with the current syllabus, need to incorporate everything, from STEM, HOTS,  HEBAT,  pdpc PAK21..  And many more!

Anyhow, I am determined to do my best,  but the start of every year proved to be very challenging,  especially now i have small children (3 kids under 5!). I am still struggling with time management and my incompetency in handling everything T_T

Kalau ada org yang boleh buat,  so can I!

But like last year,  i had this kind of motivation at early start of the year,  too.  But i failed in keeping up the momentum.  Too bad.  Reading last years blog entries is the proof.  Haha.  But,  i am not giving up in myself..

I pray to Allah so that He will teach me how to be more organised and effective..  As a spouse, a mother, a daughter and a teacher.  And...  Of course the best servant of His.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

249: Teaching blog

Just to let you all know I have started a new blog just for documenting my teaching journey. You can head to:

It maybe of interest of fellow teachers. Kalau yg lain, mungkin rasa bosan saje membaca nye. Haha.

Thursday, March 3, 2016

248: dreams

This morning I woke up feeling not a bit refreshed. I had this weird dream where I heard a familiar musics but it was annoying and went on forever. I tried to find the 'switch' to stop it, but to no avail. I ran here and there trying to find the source, panjat almari, tutup power supply for the whole building, tapi the sound didnt stop! I even had some random guys walked in and asked me 'Madam, pls turn off the musics, we have some works to do.." to that i said "yeah, i'm trying here!!"

Guess what the sound was?

yes, my alarm clock! No wonder I couldn't turn it off in my dream. I had to wake up and push the snooze button!!!

Still feeling 'meh'. No mood today.

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

247: Exhausted

Of course, I am not the most exhausted person on earth. But oh well, it helps when we talk about it.. just to ventilate.

Being a woman that plays multiple roles at once is surely the most challenging phase of my life right now. A phase that never ends, actually. A daughter, a wife, a mother, a teacher, an employee.. not to mention the fact that being a mother means playing hundreds roles and a teacher a thousand more!

Expectation is the cause of all heartache. It is harder when you put expectation on yourself. Dissapointment with your own self. That led to self pity. That led to jealousy. That led to kufr ni'mah. Astarghfirullah..

La'in syakartum la'azidannakum..

Bersyukur, dan Allah akan tambah ..

Positive attracts ...

Thank you Allah for this life full of adventures!! I love YOU!!!!