228: Sama

The whole family is ill right now. Mama, Sol, Hayat are having fever. Abah and Hanaa are recovering. Me? alhamdulillah bi khayr, semoga tak berjangkit. Semoga penyakit menghapuskan dosa-dosa dan memberi pengajaran untuk kita semua bersyukur dengan nikmat sihat, dan nikmat sakit tu sendiri... Doakan ye semua utk semua ahli kuarge yg tidak sihat!

--

Saje update nak cerita these funny incidents (entah, tak funny actually tapi menarik haha).

Situation 1

I was sitting with few girls from the green team watching a bola baling match when they started talking.

Budak form 4: (Speaking to her friend) Eh, ko pasan tak muka cikgu ni macam kak aliya.

Kawan dia: Kak Aliya mana pulak ni?

Budak form 4: Ala, ingat tak masa kita kem KBM tu.. kak Aliya yang fasi tu..

Me: Eh, KBM? Aliya mana? Khairuddin ke? Tu adik cikgu la...

Budak form 4: Yeke??? patut lah! dari hari tu saya nak tegur cikgu, ingatkan Kak Aliya, tapi nampak cam lain..

Situation 2

Sedang di bilik guru, budak perempuan ni tgk cari cikgu lain, nampak saya then terus dia approach (I also teach her so penah nampak la dia)

Budak form 2: Cikgu ada adik nama nuha ke?

Me: (dlm hati: er, tetibe je, so random) Ha'ah, ade.. nape?

Budak form 2: Muka cikgu sama giler ngan dia.. saya kawan dia masa tadika. Dia tak ingat saya dah kot.

Conclusion:

Muka saya comel macam budak enam tahun.

---

Heh, takdela. These situations just fascinate me. I mean, sebelum ni I tak pernah rasa yang kami adik-beradik muka sama. We 11 siblings adalah adik-beradik yang semua muka lain-lain.. haha.. I tak pernah rasa yang muka cam adik-beradk lain except dengan Hanaa sebab kami berdua je very chinese look. Tapi akhir-akhir ni ramai betul org tegur cakap muka sama.. haha, mana yg samanya??

Yang tak tahannya, betapa besarnya dunia, betapa ramainye orang, derang ni boleh teka spot-on the right person .. same sangat ke? hihi

Anyway, subhanallah... mmg menakjubkan... :D

227: New Phase

Assalamualaikum wbt..

Alhamdulillahirabbil alameen ...

Nampaknya first post untuk 2012 ni dah tertangguh hingga sudah masuk Februari! Heee, sedang mencari mood untuk update. Sangat banyak yang ingin dikongsi. Boleh dikatakan bulan lepas adalah bulan air mata. Hihi. Tapi saya okay.

Awal tahun 2012 juga menandakan perubahan pelbagai fasa dalam hidup saya. Alhamdulillah, setelah habis KPLI Disember lepas, saya berpeluang merasa hidup bersama suami tersayang selama lebih kurang sebulan. Memang sudah positif akan duduk bersama. Semua barang-barang dari JB diangkut bersama ke Melaka. Mahu membina keluarga yang normal macam orang lain. Mula dari bawah sebagai suami isteri di rumah sendiri. Ber'PJJ' selama lebih 6 bulan sudah cukup meletihkan saya rasa. Sangat-sangat excited mahu memulakan hidup baru. Biar jauh dari keluarga, biar susah, yang penting bersama. (Walau pada hakikatnya takdelah susah mana, umah dah ada, kereta dah ada, makan pakai cukup segala hihi).

Namun hanya Allah yang tahu apa yang terbaik untuk kita semua kan? Saya tidak menyangka posting kerja saya sangat awal. Tapi fasa pre-PRU ni, semua benda dicepatkan. Mahu dianggap efisien kah? mendengar rintihan rakyat kah? atau apa-apa aja. Jika posting awal takpe juga, saya okay je mahu bekerja. First time ma, mestilah excited nak kerja. Tapi saya langsung tak menyangka posting di JB semula.. back to the old routine.

Saya tahu ini yang terbaik dari sisi Allah. Alhamdulillah. Walaupun saya sangat sedih dan letih sebab harus berPJJ lagi, tapi at least saya masih dijaga. Mungkin ini tarbiyyah Allah yang mengatakan ada something yang masih belum settled antara kami. Kesabaran yang masih belum terdidik, taaruf yang masih belum lengkap. Entah. Tak tau. Tapi yang pastinya, harus belajar dan terus belajar merenung kehidupan. Kenapa dan mengapa taqdirNya begini dan begitu. Saya redha, sungguh. .. and things aren't so bad.

Saya harus tabah juga. Demi perkahwinan ini. Demi baby dalam kandungan ini. Orang kata, baby akan mewarisi sikap ibu semasa dia dikandung. Huaaa.. risau juga baby ni nanti asik nak menangis. Hehe. Tapi ummi harus kuat. InsyaAllah although I cry at times, but I am very positive insyaAllah. And I really miss u baby. Tak sabar nak lihat wajah baby. Anak ummi dan abi...

Speaking of that, yes I'm 15 weeks pregnant right now. Alhamdulillah, so far pregnancy is okay for me. I mean, my morning sicknesses aren't so bad. Masih okay lagi walaupun sedang nak adapt dengan working environment. Letih memang terasa, and makan mesti kene jaga. Tak makan je mesti rasa macam nak pitam.

Pregnancy juga mengajar saya erti tawakal yang sangat. Peh, mmg seriously takada kuasa nak jaga baby yg so close to you, even if it's inside you. Tak boleh buat apa-apa kalau anything is to happen. Trauma keguguran (October lepas) masih bersisa. Setiap hari memang terasa kerisauan. Alhamdulillah. Ini juga tarbiyyah taqarub ilallah. Sentiasa bergantung kepada Allah. Doa sangat-sangat Allah pelihara bayi yang dikandung. Semoga diberi kesempurnaan fizikal, mental serta akhlak terutamanya. Semoga diri ini tak mengabaikan amalan fardhiyyah dan tarbiyyah serta dakwah. Menjadi ibu yang berusaha sedayanya. InsyaAllah. Takut takut dan takut. Tapi itulah, Allah memaksa diri ini bergantung padaNya...

Okay.. semoga semua orang terus positif!!!!

226: 7 Months

Semalam 7 bulan!

:)

Saya sekarang di Melaka. Meh la melawat.

Tunggu posting and jadi suri rumah mithali. Huhu.

225: Beautiful

You know what I suddenly miss?

Proving an equation.

Third year Electrodynamics.

I'm not sure whether I can still remember how, though. Nearly two years since I left it without any revision.

But I sure remember the satisfying and wonderful feeling you get when you finally arrive at the last line of the loooong proof (can be few pages long mind you~) successfully without error or careless mistake .. hence this is equal to THIS. #proven!

It doesn't matter how messy the working is. You'll feel terrified and anxious. "This doesn't look right". "Is this supposed to be this ugly and long??" "I'm stuck I'm stuck".... but when you keep going and doing it slowly and carefully... suddenly your equation got more and more neat until you come to the last bit... beautiful. #proven!

Sheshhh... I don't know why I'm writing this either.

224:

Alhamdulillah

I turned 24 few days ago on 19th October. Wah, it sounds so grown up. I still feel like I stop growing when I was 17. Maturity wise, at least. Hoho.

I'm an adult now. Dealing with the real world. I'm married and all. Haha. But since I'm still a student, I'm not really there yet. I know that.

There are so many things that I just can't wait for. To settle down with my husband, to have kids, to start working, to settle down.

But that's what life's about right? Dealing with the moment. Sometimes we are too focused on the future and instead neglecting what's happening now. The reality. Time is passing so quickly, it never stops. We feel impatient and can't wait for one thing to happen, then it happens and passes, the we can't wait for another thing to happen and the cycle continues until when?

Like right now, I can't wait to finish my exam and finish this course. Then I can't wait to move in together with DH. Then I can't wait to get pregnant. Then I can't wait to deliver the baby. Then I can't wait to start working, then I can't wait for my first salary, then I can't wait for school holiday, then I can't wait to buy our own house, then I can't wait for my children to grow up and get married and then I can't wait to die..

na'uzubillah min syaitonirrojim...

In every phase of our life, there are tests. Different for everyone, but one thing for sure, it demands our patience.

Kehidupan adalah satu tarbiyyah kesabaran yang panjang. Sangat sangat. Di setiap fasa, harus bersabar. Deal with what's happening now with utmost patience and act according to what Allah wants us to do.. follow the syari'ah.. with taqwa.

And also, life is not just about going through your personal development.. family and career wise. What's and where's the ending? Life is much much more than that.

We all need purpose. A clear one.

We need to think why we are all on the same earth. Why we are 'forced' to live with other people on this small earth compared to the oh so big universe. Why do Allah put us all so closely together, tambah2 lagi when now is the era of globalization where you just cannot define the boundary. You like it or now, we are living together with purpose on this earth.

--

Why am I ranting like this. I guess this is a form of therapy for me although clearly I,myself, am not very sure where this is leading me...

Tough week, but I will be okay.

“Menakjubkan sungguh urusan orang beriman. Segala perkaranya adalah kebaikan. Dan itu tidak terjadi kecuali pada orang yang beriman. Jika mendapat nikmat, ia bersyukur dan syukur itu baik baginya. Jika ditimpa musibah dia bersabar, dan sabar itu baik baginya” (HR Abu Dawud & AT Tirmidzi)

--

Special thanks and Jazakumullahukhayran kathira to both of my parents for giving birth to me, and raising me.. put up with me, throughout these years. I simply cannot repay all your sacrifices. I love you, so so so much. I will be okay, don't worry.. (I know you don't, I'm just being perasan :p)

223: So, this is goodbye then

Alhamdulillah...

Like what people always say.. "Everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end"

So today is my last day here in SMK Tmn Bukit Indah. At last the practicum is coming to an end. And Alhamdulillah everything's done and classes in maktab will resume next week. No more stressful observation and critics. No more looooooong rph.

I had my last class with 4A (Physics) on Tuesday, Aisyah and I ordered some cakes (choc marshmallow, and tiramisu cake) and blueberry cheese tarts for them but due to unforeseen circumstances, only half of the class who were willing to stay back can taste the delicious treat.

One of the student gave me this, there are some gifts inside. Thank you Nabilla.. :)

And for 4E, my last class with them (Mathematics) was yesterday. I was planning to merajuk with them, not belanja them anything... but I found that I'm too soft-hearted haha. So I bought them a chocolate bar for each student. And I asked them to write anything for me and those writings/drawing truly made my day although I know some of them were just 'bodek'ing me... Half of the class are chinese, the other half are indians and 2 malay students.

Some honorary mentions:

"Saya suka matematik. Tetapi lebih kepada cikgu. Cikgu Matematik sangat cantik. Maths sebenarnya senang, tapi sangat susah. Selama ini saya sudah naik pressure. Kalau boleh kita chat dalam facebook"

"Cikgu Maimunah sangat bagus mengajar matematik. Dia mengajar matematik dengan teknik yang boleh difahami dengan senang. Walaupun matematik susah sangat bagi saya tetapi selepas cikgu Maimunah mengajar matematik sekarang bagi saya senang sikit. Saya berdoa agar cikgu maimunah mengajar di sekolah yang bagus dan menjadi pakar matematik"

"Welcome to 4 Elok! See you again, good bye!...."

"My name is Cheng Hui. I'm fine. Are you okay? May I help you? Math is very easy but I don't like Math due to no mood!!"

"Saya suka kelas math but don't do the exercise. I don't understand math but this exam I am pass so thanks for teacher. I miss you and never forget you"

"Math is very easy but english got little hard"

"Selama 2 bulan cikgu ajar saya ttg math, ada peningkatan pada diri saya. First time saya lulus dalam ujian. Saya takkan lupa jasa baik cikgu. Cikgu kadang2 agak kelaka. Memang best and happylah belajar dengan cikgu. Apa yang cikgu ajar saya mudah faham ada juga tak faham hehehe. Semoga cikgu bahagia, ceria selalu!"

"Tq for teacher this few month teaching let me get a good marks in pertengahan tahun exam. Before that m no interest in Math. But after teacher teaching I can understand what teacher is teaching in Math. Teacher is a friendly and nice speaking person with us. Hope teacher will come back teach again in this class. Thank you teacher"

"Di kelas matematik ada seorang cikgu yang happy best baik peramah. Cikgu mengajar memang baik je tak ada marah-marah macam cikgu lain. dan cikgu lawa juga! hehehe ^^ dan semoga bahagia selalu dan murah rezeki. Thanks cikgu sebab mengajar saya dalam kelas ini :D"

Thank you 4A and 4E for cooperating (and not cooperating) with me throughout this practicum. I learn a lot these past 2 and half months.. knowing myself more and more while I dealt with all of you. Thank you for the memories too! Dare to dream big, you will achieve it!

:)

So... bye SMKTBI ... I hope I'll get posted at better school, with students who actually want to learn even though they are weak. Baru tak rasa sia-sia belajo tinggi2 sampai ostralia. Ni buat habis suara dan tenaga je tiap kali masuk 4E sebab most students memang mindset taknak belajar.

Souvenir for all teachers from Aisyah & I

I hope I'll be a better teacher in the future. More patient and more hikmah in dealing with students like them. I know it's my role to motivate and inspire them... but sometimes the workload are just too much for teachers... even teachers need help, support and motivation, dalam banyak-banyak segi. Barulah boleh mengoptimumkan tenaga untuk kemajuan pelajar bukan saje dari segi akademik... but more importantly their spiritual and emotional intellects.

Oklah... all the best to all students.

As for me, I'll be having my RMIT graduation this weekend in KL! at last, graduating with the topi. Haha. Ok just kidding... what I appreciate about this moment most is the fact that I can celebrate it with my loved one.. especially my husband, and my parents. I've attended graduation in the past without them (parents je la masa tu, sbb tak kawen lg).. agak sedih juga la.. although my dad keep on saying "Buat apela nak konvo-konvo ni.. abah dulu tak attend pun convo.." heheh... but I still want it! Alhamdulillah... I'll be graduating with Honours in Bachelor of Science (Applied Sciences) from the RMIT University, Victoria, Australia (aah.. I miss Melbourne....).

Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal...

We can be the happiest woman in the world if we allow ourselves to feel content, syukur, and beramal sebaiknya untuk 'wajhullah" .... fahami dan mengerti dengan nilai dunia yang sebentar cuma... memahami hakikat akhirat yang selama lama lama lamanya!

222:

First syawal @ Parit Usop, Muar with my new family-in-law

Second syawal at Parit Setongkat, Muar with my big family

Fourth syawal with married siblings at home sweet home in Johor Bahru

May Allah bless us till the end of time ...