Saturday, July 11, 2015

238: and then its over

Eid is exactly a week from now. Ramadhan comes fleeting by just like that.  Like this.  This person was far from ready to celebrate its arrival and yet now its already leaving..

Life as a mom of two and career woman is tough. Need to renew niat at every single thing that i do even tho it looks like such a waste of time (like lipat baju then kene selongkar balik, mop lantai bape saat dah tumpah air balik T_T)

Semasa diri seorang pelajar, fokusnya banyak pada ibadah khusus.  Nak kejar khatam quran,  nak kejar pahala iktikaf,  nak kejar rakaat2 tahajud..  But now not anymore..

Widening ibadah scope..  Belajar ikhlaskan hati n redha n happy.. Syukur selalu..

Semoga Allah memberkati

Monday, July 6, 2015

237: transient

I was browsing and selecting photos from my undergrad years in Melbourne when it struck me .. few people I met during my journey there have actually departed from this world. One of them was my age,  another one was 2 years my junior.

They died.  It is so strange using that word. Death.  We know we are not immortal yet, it never fails to make us feel  vulnerable whenever one of us is touched by death.

We felt like we were on top of the world,  we became the selected fews who managed to secure the overseas scholarship. We felt like we were meant to be someone,  somebody important to the world,  and yet,  and yet one of us died.

.. and i came back home, and still i am nobody.

What defines a person? 

That short period of euphoric Melbourne moments, what is the purpose?

From Him we came,  and to Him we will return.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

236: Perception

Our eyes are so easily deceived. Ever heard of optical illusion? Yeah, so easily like that, we are being cheated. But why people are so convinced and masih jadikan hujah dengan apa yang dilihat?

There are so many possible perspective towards something,and truth are so 'big' .. Ilmu Allah itu luas sangat-sangat.

Ilmu yang dikurniakan Allah kpd kita hanya sedikit cuma dan itu bukanlah tiket utk kita menjadi bongkak dan memandang orang lain senget hanya kerana pandangannya berbeza dengan kita.

Rasulullah swt diutuskan utk menyempurnakan akhlak yang mulia. The syariah are all binded in the Quran, but how we act upon it, we have to follow the prophet's way.

La tamsyi fil ardhi maraha.

Janganlah berjalan di atas muka bumi dlm keadaan sombong...

Wa khaliqi nas, bikhuluqil hasan.

Pergaulilah manusia dengan akhlak yang baik ..

And, never stop learning.

Iqra'

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

235: munchkins

Alhamdulillah Allah has blessed me with these 2 daughters. With them, I learn what the word Sabr really means ..

I learn that, parenting is something so easy to have an opinion about, but is actually the hardest thing to 'do'..

I learn that I am learning everyday, and sometimes (or many times) I made mistakes and never am the perfect mom .. But I am the perfect mom for my daughters, and my daughters are the perfect children for me. We truly are learning together about life .. We are the perfect companions ..

There are times when I feel so exhausted and I wish I can turn back time and not having them .. But I am sure I wont be the same person that I am now ..

I pray to Allah that they can be the most beloved abd of Allah and useful to the ummah ..

Sometimes I think my children are so cute and pretty and perfect that I feel so scared it is only that way because Allah will take them away from me sooner than I anticipate.. I am such a paranoid mom..

I just hope whatever Allah has in store for me, and for them, are only so that we are all closer to Him .. I know that will always be the case, He will never abandon us and He only set the best plan for us.. But I just hope i can remember that when the unexpected come..

234: the revival

Assalamualaikum wbt..
Pheww.. 2 years it has been! Do i still have readers here? Do blog readers still exist?

I was thinking to seriously start writing again. So much things are happening and i need to pen my thoughts and reflections.

I haven't stopped writing these few years, just that I think whatever I've written are too personal to be shared publicly.

What I'm looking forward to be shared here insyaAllah for general reflections on life and our deen.

I'm writing not because I know things.. Or that i'm better than others, but I write in the hope of improving myself.

As an INFJ, writing help me straighten my thoughts and validate my feelings.

I just hope to God i can be istiqamah ..

Great, I'm back!

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

233:

You ni, sabar ke, pengecut?

Kalau esok mati, menyesal ke dak?

Thursday, September 19, 2013

232:

Dan bubur kauthar pun hangus lagi. Hmm.. convenience are so costly nowadays. Tak nak bubur hangus? beli lah slow cooker. Nak mudah masak and blend baby stuff? belilah hand blender. Banyak sangat baju nak iron? belilah steamer! Kalau tak nak invest in money, kene invest in kerajinan dan masa pula. Gosh, one of the thing that I think is the hardest is to be the domestic goddess yang I sangat lah tak kannn... but kerana besarnya rasa kasih sayang yang Allah anugerahkan (Subhanallah! alhamdulillah), sanggup kita perempuan ni kan, berusaha sebaiknya untuk anak dan suami.. saya rasa semua wanita pun fitrahnya begitu... walau macammana hardcore pun dirinya sebelum ini, bila anak dah menjelma dalam hidup, tersisip juga kelembutan yang tak disangka-sangka keluar....

... but sometimes I break down and cry jugak akibat kepenatan.

Moga Allah terus beri kekuatan dan tunjukkan jalan.

Okay Kauthar dah nanges. Jom mandi, pastu makan bubur hangus ye . Ummi tak sempat dah nak masak yang baru... luv u.