It's like, you are about to jump the bungee, but you pause for a moment before you let go. That pause. It doesn't mean that you don't want to jump. You just need that moment to be prepared. A moment of clarity. To be clear of what you really want. And how much you want it. Or maybe just to be sure that everything's alright if you let go now. Like, no tangled rope around your leg, or that your harness is really locked in place. Something like that.
Melbourne is more than 6000 miles away now. It's been almost a week since I arrived here. I tried to be ready for any possibilities of events. Expect the unexpected. And I guess till now I am calm. Yes, calm.
Change is good. I have the power to decide who I want to be. I choose to be who I think the best I should be. Idealist at the start, realist in the heart. Whatever that means.
This is a new beginning. Al-Muntalaq.
Allahummahdini. In each and every little step that I take ...
The future is something so scary. When you realized how scary it is, you don't feel like moving at all. Uncertainties. I hate uncertainties. But this just shows how shallow my understanding on the dependence on Allah.