About 2 weeks ago I attended Yasmin Mogahed's talk. Here are the notes that I managed to jot down without editing. Need to put it here so that it won't dissapear.
"Living the Reclaimed Heart"
17 August 2018
Berjaya Waterfront Hotel, JB
Who's the owner of your heart.
Reclaim your heart, taking back your heart, back to its original owner which is Allah
How to practically do that?
How to live with the heart like that?
This life is a marathon not a sprint
Its all about endurance and perseverance.
When we say the shahada,
We always take other ilah.. in love, in obedience.
When we love something, that something become our master, and we become its slave. We make our children our ilah. We revolve our life and existence to our children. Whats the thing that cause u most fear, afraid, worry.
What causes you the most pain, the most anxiety.. your deepest attachment.
Why we cant do this? (Eg a married couple make their children ilah)
1. Its unjust
2. Its harming the child. Narcissism. You're raising a narcisist.
If u make children the foundation of ur family, its not healthy. The foundation for family is the marriage itself, the husb n wife relationship. The marriage is neglected and its a big mistake.
Our love for something is a test.
This age is social media age where something doesnt happen unless we post about it on fb. It become some sort of obsession.. it owns our life.
We are abused just because we r scared of what other people say.
Obsession on how we look.
You r what you eat. Imagine your Instagram feed is your refrigerator. What have u been eating?
This is not about halal and haram. This is about what become most important to you. What matters most become something different than Allah. We start become dissatisfied. Because we compare real life with fake life. People spend more time on social media has higher level of anxiety and depression.
Social media is a tool. We can use it for good, and for harm. There is an amazing tool called 'unfollow' 😂.
Change our focus. Use it for something more healthy..change the content of your fridge.
Stop advertising your blessings. Stop evil eye, hasad etc.
Every body has their own gift. No one can have everything in life.
Every blessing can be envied. So be discreet about it.
We cant live without our oxygen.
The heart's oxygen is solat. We cant talk about running a marathon without breathing. So if we leave solat, nothing can be done to mend the heart.
Solat at the prescribed time. Like medicine has its prescription. We trust the doctor but we dont trust Allah?
1. Solat the oxygen
2. Azhkar.. zikir. Our water, mineral, vitamin. The rememberance of Allah. We suffer because we forgot about it. Rasulullah has zikr for all acts in life, from the smallest act to the biggest but we neglected it. And the negligence made us weàk.
We have nafs amar bissu'. It can control us. When we r weak we come up with strange justification to disobey Allah.
Download app 'My Duaa'. The most important is the morning n evening azkar .. al-mathurat
Consistency is the key. Choose dua that you can be consistent. Make sure including protections and repentances. Istighfar.
1. Ldr relationship
Istikharah makes what is best, easy. Allah will facilitate what is best. Sincere in your dua.
2. Our part is whats our responsibility only. Let it go if the other person refuse.
3. Our first amanah is ourselves before others. Take care of our selves. We have our needs that we will be asked by Allah. Ask allah for guidance, ease and open what is best. Do not neglect ourselves. Not healthy. Not islamic. Imbalance will create problems. Suffocate the children. You cannot help others if u havent taken the oxygen mask yourself.
4. We dont have control of other people. Even rasulullah cant change his uncle. Make dua for our friend. Try advice n support, but cant control her except her.
5. We are not perfect. We cant never be 100% sincere. But we strive for ihsan, excellence not perfection. Always ask Allah to help us in being sincere. Signs of sincerity we can something even if peole dont know about it. Keep doing it eventho no one praise it. Keep doing it eventho not seeing result.
6. Innamal a'malu binniat. You do it but your heart is not attached to it. Its between you and Allah.
7. We r human. Thats y we have sujud sahwi. Allah knows we bound to make mistakes. But we can improve. How to improve. Learn the foundation of solat: the language.
8. If we take a look at our doa, we know what matters to you.
9. How to help teenagers. Set an example. You'll become the life of your closest friend. Bi'ah. We r affected by good company. And bad company. The same is true in marriage. You become like them. Put ur child in good company.
10. We do our best to put ourselves in a good environment. Self-preservation. Something that we dont have control to, be like radiation worker. Put protective armor. Your zikir.
11. How to continue having the endurance? The 3 prescriptions. Or else you become sick, weak, dead!
12. Masculinity is dying. Start with how we teach our boys. Teach our boys their responsibilities. Modern boys have no responsibility, its crippling. Boys r maturing so slowly. We have epidemics of people avoiding commitments.