147: Aya

Masa: Siang tadi
Venue: Dalam kereta Iman

Cik In yang sedang drive: Eh, tak call lagi rumah nak tanya adik macammana. Hari ni result PMR keluar.

Saya: Oh ha'ah ek!! Saya tak ingat pulak. Kene kol umah jugak ni. (Terus capai henpon dan mencari 'Mama' lalu menekan button call).

Mama: Assalamualaikum.

Saya: Waalaikumussalam. Mama, ni munah ni!

Mama: Ooo.. ape khabar kamu?

Saya: Baik Alhamdulillah. Hehe. Mama mama, kat mana? result PMR keluar hari ni, result aya camne?

Mama: Ha? Aliya? awak ni dah kenape? sape adik awak yang ambil PMR? Aya amek PMR taun lepas la.

Saya: Ha? (kemudian disusuli dengan gelak yang agak tidak sopan dek ketidaktahanan atas keabsentmindedan diri)

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Rupenye saya sangat lupa yang Aya dah form 4. Korek2 balik otak, baru igt yang Aya dpt 9A;s last year. Nak masuk form 5 dah.

I don't know macammana ntah boleh terlupa........

Maaf Aya.. haha.

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Kawan kata, dimaafkan lah sebab ade 11 adek-badek. :)

146:

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise..

-excerpt from 'IF' by Rudyard Kipling

I failed. I know myself now. How it's easy for me to lose my temper. Hoho, kesian pakcik tu, kene marah dengan saya. When I said pakcik, I really mean pakcik. I think he's older than my dad. I feel so guilty now, for losing my temper, not because it's my fault.

Istighfar banyak-banyak.

Rationale.

145:

This morning I sent off my roommate of 3 years, at the airport. I'm never good at good-byes. I'm never good in reacting. Kak Wani asked me, "How does it feel? Are you sad?" Hmm, I don't know, really. I am not sure. Separation with the one we love will always cause some kind of heart ache, at least, right? Yes, I am sad, but I am happy. This is kind of like a happy ending to our journey together. It's inevitable, and we are moving on, happily, 'redha'ly (:p). She'll lead a new exciting life, and I'm going to lead mine. Though I'm still in the state of uncertain now, I am so thankful by the fact that I am spared by Allah from other kind of worries.

To Mardhiyyah, it's been a great 3 years. It's a wonder how we can stand each other for these period of time. Your salamatussadr, and ithar.. I thank Allah for you.

"And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided. And remember the favor of Allah upon you - when you were enemies and He brought your hearts together and you became, by His favor, brothers. And you were on the edge of a pit of the Fire, and He saved you from it. Thus does Allah make clear to you His verses that you may be guided."
3:103

People started calling me 'Muna' instead of 'Mai' because of Mar. Hey, now that I think about it, why did it has to be me changing instead of you? :p

I remember among the first moments when people asked how did we know each other, how did we end up being housemates (for an apartment for 2), we said "Oh, IDP yang arranged" then a sister said "Eh, it's Allah's arrangement". At that time I was like "Hek eleh, yela.. mmg la everything Allah yang arrange.. tp melalui IDP la" But now I can really appreciate the fact that Allah arranged this.

Oklah, dah. Haha. My english still doesn't improve much after 3 years of living here.

144:

Assalamualaikum wbt

Subhanallah. Alhamdulillah.

Semalam ke uni, uruskan beberapa urusan. Ambil academic transcript sebab kena post ke Monash and RMIT. Excited sangat bila dapat transcript tu.. sebab bawah tu tulis:


Macam tak percaya. All those sleepless nights, countless mug of coffees, anxiousness, agitation, kebersepahan bilik with notes, paper n ketidakurusan hidup (this, Mar had to withstand, thank you Mar atas kesabaranmu.. next year we are no longer roommate huhu, you're gonna miss me.. ni kene buat post lain nih!).. the only thing I didn't do is cry in frustration or distress. Haha. Tak percaya it has concluded to this day. Inna ma'al usri yusra.. but the verse doesn't end there, does it? ;)

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Sangat-sangat terkejut semalam bila dapat berita tentang Kak Teh. You can read the news here. Sungguh kita tak boleh, can never predict, whatever that's going to happen. Sungguh Allah memilih hambaNya yang Dia sayang utk ujian seberat ini..

I'm reflecting... the last week was very stressful for me since I was in a state of uncertain. Sangat takut tak pass, I thought of the worst, and all the what-ifs. Selalu juga cakap kat diri "So what if you didn't pass? what's the worst that can happen? bukannya its the end of the world.. extend je la, bukan the main reason you wanted to do honours sebab you nak stay longer ke here?"

Tapi hati tetap tak alleviated. Nak pass, nak pass. Then it struck me. Sungguh egonya diri. Kenapa tak nak tak pass? Sebab takut orang kata. Sebab ego, sebelum ni okay je, tak pernah fail. Bajet bagus sangat, padahal segalanya Allah yang tetapkan. You are nothing without Him.

Ujian sekecil ini tapi hati dah stress menggila. Orang lain ujian lebih berat kot, Mai! Fail tu, ujian yang tak semua orang dapat. Korang memang kuat...

Tetibe stuck tak tahu nak tulis apa. Huu..

Anyway, yang penting, yang seharusnya, tak kira kecil atau besar satu-satu ujian itu, kita kembali kepada Allah yang menetapkan ujian. Kita dapat extract the hikmah sebaliknya. Dapat react with the right reaction... mendapat redhaNya.. mendapat pengajaran for the future... and never commit the same mistake twice...

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Allahumma afrigh alaina sobran wathabbit aqdamana..

143: Oh, its 143, I Love You.

All praise is due to Allah. Ar-Razzaq. Al-Fattah. Al-Hakeem. Al-Waduud.

Surreal it is. Now I am not sure of what to write. It's easier to just put photos, then I can leave the flow of the story to audience's guesses. I felt reluctant to write before, since there wasn't much to write anyway, except the fact that I was so worried. Result result result.

Is this the end of this chapter called "My Melbourne Story" ? Only He knows. I am still hoping for acceptance into Honours year. Whatever is best, oh Allah.

So, no, I'm not going back to Malaysia yet, not this month. I'm gonna have to... wait.

3 years, and here I am.

I'm graduating with Bachelor of Science, majoring in Physics, from the University of Melbourne.

All praise is due to Allah.

142: 11 days