264: Quarantine in Confinement

Yesterday was my last day of quarantine. Oh yes I got covid the second time, while I was in confinement, too!.

It started about 10 days ago, during the weekend. Yusra was abnormally lethargic. Usually she was the hyper one and make the most sound. But that day, she was just sleeping around and quiet. That morning as well, we got a message from the school that one of Yusra's classmate was covid positive but the school still resumes as usual. Having reading that message, I had my doubt so I decided to test Yusra for covid. We use the Newgene RTK nasal swab test. Easier to test the children with that. And my gut feeling turned out to be true. Yusra got the virus. So immediately we made Yusra to quarantine to her room. We tested everyone else but everyone was negative.

Husband applied for quarantine leave (the procedure was mentally exhausting) to take care of Yusra and the rest of the children. I also quarantine myself in the room with the baby because I just gave birth less than a week before so we wanted to prevent the baby from getting the virus. So my husband and the kids stayed in the living hall, while Yusra in her room and I in my room.

3 days later I started to feel unwell. But I thought it was just normal flu because I just had minor case of runny nose. But husband insisted I got tested anyway... and lo behold, I was positive as well.

We went to the CAC because the baby need to be checked for his jaundice still although he was now a close contact. I didn't do the self test for him because I felt scared of hurting him so I requested for them at the CAC to do it. But he was negative. I was breastfeeding him so it was hard to be separated from him, so we decided to just stay together where I need to wear mask all the time in the room.

So that's how my quarantine and confinement went. Just staying in my room with the baby 24/7. Meals were sent at the door by dear husband and I just spend the day n night relaxing and just taking care of the baby. At some point the baby started to cough a bit but never showed any sign of distress or uncomfortableness. I suspected he already gotten the virus but we decided as long as he did not show any rough symptoms, he should be okay. The doctor at the CAC had warned us earlier that the baby most probably will get it as well but baby is usually resilient. But I continued my mask wearing until the last day of quarantine.

This time around I could say that my symptoms was less severe than when I got covid the first time. When I was infected last august, I got the fever, flu and persistent cough, followed by losing the sense of smell and taste. The symptoms went on for about a week. But this time around I had the fever like headache but no increase in body temp that was resolve just by consuming paracetamol. I also had runny nose and phlegmatic cough. The cough was not painful, it was just uncomfortable because of the phlegm. I still got the pghlematic sensation at the sinus area but it was a minor discomfort. Using digestzen essential oil helps in managing it.

All in all, I feel very grateful to Allah for having my husband by my side all these while. It's ramadhan so my husband has been very patient in managing everything, the 3 other healthy children, yusra's quarantine, the houseworks, iftar preparation as well as my confinement needs. The children were also a gem. They have been so patient and understanding as well as helping around the house at that young age. 

263: When reality hits

Our dear uncle passed away yesterday, after a week of being intubated. His lung was beyond repaired. Covid got real. Covid got real for us.

I haven't cried this hard since forever.

My husband and I had our share of covid experience last august. During that time, it tested mostly our mental and emotional strength. There was so many 'what-if's and worries. Would our experience be mild, or would we end up in the hospital, intubated? dead?

It was such huge relief when our symptoms subsided after a week.

So when my aunt started to contact me I was very positive that everything would be alright. I shared our experience. I said to her we need to be strong emotionally because that really affects the symptoms as well. I mean, you would be confused, the heavy feeling in your chest, was it covid, or was it anxiety?

We are all humans with hopes and dreams. We hope all these covid crap passes quickly, we want to lead a normal life. But imagine being that hopeful, oh everything will pass. Everything will be back to normal again after this. Family can gather again. We can meet and talk again, hug again, like two years ago. We can visit each other again. 

But no, my uncle is gone, now. 

We live relatively near to each other. So never it occured to us, the last time we met, was the last time. It was a quick hi and bye, due to covid SOP. We thought we were being careful. Of course we need to be careful. So we just exchanged quick greetings and hope for the future of no covid when we could gather and talk freely again without SOP.

But no, he's gone, now.

......

Allahumma firghlahu warhamhu ...

262: Our Covid Experience (Part 1)

Never have it occured to me that I would be one of the numbers in the daily cases of covid. Let me narrate how it all started.

I am a teacher, as many of you have known. So during this pandemic, we are teaching remotely from home. But I am no superwoman, I couldn't do my best in teaching when my 2 year old is quite a needy 'baby'. So to keep my sanity intact, I decided to send her to her babysitter every teaching day. However you go around this issue, its always a dilemma. Should I or should I not send my baby off. The risk of infection is always there. And we have no control of how everyone else act. It's my mental health versus the safety of my family. Seriously, who can really choose one with confident? 

But anyway, Syifa went to her babysitter everyday, since the starts of pandemic. I decided early on its a risk I needed to take to be able to function as a teacher, and as a mom. You know, nothing about the pandemic is normal anymore. 

3rd August 2021 was the last day Syifa went to the babysitter. The next day, she got a slight fever. I decided to not send her. I asked the babysitter whether anyone else has got the fever as well. But she said no. So it was only Syifa. I assumed it was ordinary viral fever.

She was having the fever for two whole day. But her temperature was under control by the pcm intake every 6 hours. After her fever went away, my husband started to feel under the weather. Then it was my turn to get it. We still thoughts it was just ordinary fever because the symptoms weren't that bad and we felt better after taking pcm.

Then few days later the babysitter called saying her son has been a closed contact of a positive case. He has gotten the swab test and waiting for the result. The babysitter went to get tested as well at a private clinics. Only then I started to feel doubt. What if the fever we got were the symptoms of covid? By then Syifa was all better but I still felt unwell. 

The next day, the babysitter revealed that she's positive. We were numb.What should we do? Then I searched for self test kit seller online. Luckily I found one nearby then she COD'ed the test kit to our home. So my husband and I did the self test. My husband got a solid clear double line. My test was blurred. So I was uncertain. At that point everything just felt real for the first time. We were officially covid'ed.

We booked an appointment for swab test at a private clinics next day. Just my husband and I. Waiting for the results were nerve wrecking. Only after 2 days we got a notification on mysejahtera that we have been confirmed as a positive case.

261: Discipline of Knowledge

As a student of Physics (or any student of any structured course at all), I am trained to accept any statements so cautiously. Everything need a set of established law to be able to become facts. There are disciplines to be followed, in learning, in acquiring knowledge, in living.

So it annoys me to the core when people never respect this discipline of knowledge. Credentials, license, a governing body, are all there so that everyone have equal opportunities to be successful, in living.

Because that's what we all are doing right, living?

All trained and certified professionals should all feel insulted with all the marketing scams. I think it's unfair. So unfair.

People are deluded into thinking they are being motivated, they are being coached. Some works, most don't.

We are all students of life. We should be learning throughout life, never stops. But not from the self proclaimed sifu with no certified credentials, just testimonials of success.

That's a huge insult to science.

The social medias are taking the attention of people. They thought they are learning. 

People need to go back to school. Learn properly. Read books. Go back to all the conventionals. Do it the proper way!

260: Silence

I miss the silence and tranquilty of blogging. The social media world is overwhelmingly noisy. And chaotic. 

I am here now, seeking solace and enlightenment. Because the noise of everyone letting out their opinions are extremely chaotic and disturbing. Bukan makin jelas, tapi makin serabut. Semakin hitam. 

Facebook pun overwhelming , apetah lagi yang full of visual and motions like instagram and tiktok. I just can't. Overload. 

So here I am seeking solitude. I love the quiet. I love the non-existent audience, so then I don't have to be fearful of any judgement. So that I can just say anything, not because I want my opinion to be heard, but just for straightening my thoughts.

Back to why I started blogging in the first place, just to join the pieces of puzzle of my fragmented thoughts. 

259: Mind-blown

When was the last time you had your mind blown? 

For me, it was just now, while reading a comment on facebook, one of the commentor put a gif of a spiralling model of our solar system. It was the first time of me seeing that model being simulated. I was mind-blown! 

I quickly headed to YouTube to searched the full video. Again, I was so mesmerized at how beautiful it was, the realization and the fact of how it makes such total sense, I felt like crying.

As a physics major who loves astrophysics (i chose astrophysics subjects until my final year during undergrad), this thing blows my mind. I mean, I know for a fact that our solar system moves around the galaxy, orbiting it, and the galaxy also moves in orbit around super cluster, and everything moves so rapidly as well because the universe is expanding, but when I saw the movement being simulated so beautifully and it create a helix, a vortex design looking like the dna double helix model, I was mind blown! 

It's beautiful, the theory and the simulation, and if you imagine it, that's what currently happening right now at this very moment, while we are living our mundane life right now, being oblivious at such beautiful grand design that is happening! The earth, the sun, the solar system, the galaxy, and everything, are dancing... So magnificently thru the expansion of the vast universe.

Subhanallah ...

Then I paused, and I thought about how I miss this feeling. Of being knocked to my senses by the knowledge, and how it relates with life. I miss the feeling .. I want to feel it again. 

Further study? 

258: Back again

Tomorrow, all students will come back to school. I'm teaching my students in real classes again, at last!. I love the opportunity to use all sort of technology to teach during MCO but it can never replace teaching face to face, hands down!

Nevertheless, many things that happened during early PKPP was teachers' dream came true. Like, only 10 students per class! No need to do group works, and no hands-on activities for students. Haha of course hands-on activities for students are good but if you have hyper students that always do the opposite of your instructions, this sort of set up of just stay at your own place, listen to your teacher spoon-feeding you, are so much appreciated. Much needed break.

Anyway, starting tomorrow, most things are back like before. Full house of more than 30 students in a class again. But its okay. I had a wonderful 3 weeks of teaching small classes 😄. Good things don't last but at least I got to experience them.